apple of my eye

the one who had nervous eyes

I went on a couple of dates recently with an awfully shy guy. From what I heard, he hasn’t had much experience with girls, and never had a girlfriend before even though he’s currently at the ripe age of 35. A really decent guy this one; stable job, drives a car, takes good care of his mom. Very marriage material. But I can tell that every time we go out (it’s been 3 - 4 times now), he’s still nervous around me. Now, I’m not particularly chatty myself. But I’m a fairly ‘responsive’ dater. That means if the other party makes the first move, I’ll reciprocate; if he’s talkative, I’ll encourage him to talk more. And if he’s at ease with me, I’ll naturally be more comfortable around him too.

And the reverse is also true. If someone is nervous around me, I’ll be restless. This guy I went out with gets really fidgety when we meet. He’d shake his legs when we sit down for a meal (I felt like telling him to stop it after 10 seconds). He looks left and right whenever talking to me, very hardly maintaining eye contact. And sometimes, I’d catch his fingers/hands shaking. Sigh. I’m so scary meh?

I don’t know how long he’ll take to lose his nerves with me. I'm sorry to say this, but it’s becoming a tad bit annoying. Like going out with a primary school boy la. I’m no expert in playing the field and I definitely am not looking for someone with a long dating history. But I don’t want to go out with a dating ‘virgin’ either.

People say I should give him a chance, that he’s fine when he’s around his family and friends and he’s just very very very shy. But it’s been 4 – 5 months since I got to know him and I’m getting tired for something to happen. Chemistry cannot be forced and I doubt it’ll appear miraculously out of nowhere.

Oh wells. I'm just going to give him a few more months. If no progress... next!!!


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windows to the soul

As I was doing my post mortem on mr nervous eyes, I was doing a bit of self-reflection. Even as I complain that he doesn’t look at me in the eye when he talks, I’m actually also guilty of having shifty eyes. Heh. Not as much as him (I hope) but yeah, sometimes when I’m not too familiar with the person I’m talking to, I tend to look around. Bad habit, I know. I think it’s a sign of low self-esteem?

So when I meet people with whom I can maintain steady eye contact with, I know that this is a) someone I can trust or b) someone special. You know they said the eyes are the windows to the soul. By letting someone look deep in your eyes and by gazing into theirs in return, it’s almost like you’re opening up to them without having to say a word. And when someone looks at you straight, you feel as if they are telling the truth and have got nothing to hide. And I realised it’s this kind of openness that I tend to fall in love with.

But of course, I don't love just any Tom, Dick or Harry who stares at me. That can be kinda pervy right? :P

Oh and one more thing about eyes (sorry for this temporary obsession). I realise I tend to develop crushes on guys with nice, clear eyes. I don’t know how to describe it. Not… murky? Lol. And speaking of nice eyes, I just met up with an ex-crush whose eyes I’d love to gaze at forever *swoon*

In any case, that debbie gibson song, lost in your eyes, really does make more sense now :)