Two ads caught my eye in the papers last weekend. One was promoting a Dating Challenge, another on some Dating Treats promotion. Both were organised by the Social Development Network (that’s the new name for SDU, guess they got sick of the SingleDesperateUgly jokes). I’ve always seen ads and articles on the events and campaigns that SDU has been working on to ‘encourage’ us singletons to find a match and get married. Used to skim through their newsletters that was sent to my ex last time; I didn’t get it, coz apparently only full time grads from local unis are automatically enrolled.
I remembered being kinda peeved with the ‘discrimination’ (part-time grads don’t need help meh?) and having the impression that these events always have more women and most participants were not malays anyway. So I never bothered to check them out. But since jaded heart was asking about places to meet new people, I thought no harm in seeing if this is a viable channel. And I was kinda curious what kinda events they organised so I went to their webby to take a look.
They really have a lot of events going on… speed dating lunches, overseas trips, mass movie dates, charity events. But I get the feeling I’m not quite the right target audience. Most of the venues are at pubs or fine dining restaurants, and some are exclusively for Christian singles… so nah.
But a few caught my eye, like the street photography workshop and the paintball trip up to Johor. Not for the dating element, but it could be fun if you gather a few friends to go together.
After looking through the website, even though it shows how much effort our gahmen is putting into this, it all seems so… contrived to me. Blame it on the romantic comedies, sappy Korean drams or love songs that I’ve been exposed to, but maybe I’ve been conditioned to fall in love, as opposed to finding it at a “fun activity especially for SDN LoveByte Users that includes buffet dinner and free flow fruit punch.”
The best things happen when you least expect it, not when you purposely seek out for it in an SDU forum.
That’s just my two cents’ worth. Maybe this will work for others. I’m sure there are success stories that SDU can be proud of. But it’s just not for me. I’ll go back to hanging around the aisles of Border’s and trawling myspace for my husband-to-be. Heh, ok kidding.
Paintball, anyone?
Showing posts with label matchmaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label matchmaking. Show all posts
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
the one who visited my house
the one who had little to say was introduced by a close family friend; he's actually the younger brother of this lady who's very close to my mom.
given the close ties my parents have with their family, it's a sticky situation and both families have been pushing very hard for this to go through. that means i cant just turn down or cease contact with him even though theres no chemistry betw us and i dun see myself going further in this.
it's been over a year since we were introduced, with about 4 dates under our belt, once-in-a-blue-moon smses and still, zero phonecalls. the one similarity i see with him is that we're both shy with people we're not comfortable with and we take a very long time to warm up to people. usually similarities are a good thing isnt it? but in this situation, it's kinda detrimental and makes it quite impossible for us to take this further.
i voiced out my concerns to my parents; but they still insist that i should maintain that minimum contact we have and try to keep this going. nevertheless, sensing that this really isnt going anywhere, my mom half-jokingly told that family friend that if nothing happens by this hari raya, it's a no-go.
obviously, i have been secretly wishing that NOTHING happens but, whaddya noe, just this afternoon, my mom told me that his family will be coming round our place for visiting..... *dread*
so how was it? awkwardness to the max la!
i'm not the super friendly type, nor am i the chatty hostess who can make small talk with guests who come to my house. usually, tat's my parent's job and i'll be helping out in the kitchen. even with my close relatives, i do the same.
but suddenly, today, i was expected to sit beside this guy and make small talk in front of his family (which btw, comprised of his mom, elder brother, his wife and 3 kids, his sister and her husband).
how am i supposed to talk to him in front of our families when we hardly talk when we were alone? the seat beside him at the dining table was always somehow empty, and his sister and my mom kept asking me to sit down. riiiight... and do what?? nt wanting to appear rude, i just smiled at their 'requests'.
i didnt even say a word to him the whole time they were here. heck, i didnt say anything to anyone actually! hehe. but as they were leaving, i just said my thanks to him for coming over and asked a qn or two on how he's doing (at the door!).
sigh. it was so weird la. i dunno why other people cant see that this whole thing wont go anywhere. just coz someone is nice, has a good family background and stable job, doesnt mean that its so easy to get married to them. when 2 people are introduced, isnt it common sense to understand that there is a chance that it wont work out, even tho there are no major differences or factors involved? when a 'matchmake' like this is arranged, is it impossible to get out of? the worse thing is, i dun see him being so excited or psyched about this whole thing either. it's the families who have been pushing us, telling me that "he's interested but he's just shy", and trying to point out 'signs' that he's keen on this.
but even if he is, i'm not!
i noe i said that i'd give this a shot. but it's so so sooo hard when ur heart is just not into it. saying no is not an option, too. i noe, i tried it already.
i'm at my wit's end here. i guess all i can do now is to take each day at a time, stay as non-commital as possible and see how things go.
given the close ties my parents have with their family, it's a sticky situation and both families have been pushing very hard for this to go through. that means i cant just turn down or cease contact with him even though theres no chemistry betw us and i dun see myself going further in this.
it's been over a year since we were introduced, with about 4 dates under our belt, once-in-a-blue-moon smses and still, zero phonecalls. the one similarity i see with him is that we're both shy with people we're not comfortable with and we take a very long time to warm up to people. usually similarities are a good thing isnt it? but in this situation, it's kinda detrimental and makes it quite impossible for us to take this further.
i voiced out my concerns to my parents; but they still insist that i should maintain that minimum contact we have and try to keep this going. nevertheless, sensing that this really isnt going anywhere, my mom half-jokingly told that family friend that if nothing happens by this hari raya, it's a no-go.
obviously, i have been secretly wishing that NOTHING happens but, whaddya noe, just this afternoon, my mom told me that his family will be coming round our place for visiting..... *dread*
so how was it? awkwardness to the max la!
i'm not the super friendly type, nor am i the chatty hostess who can make small talk with guests who come to my house. usually, tat's my parent's job and i'll be helping out in the kitchen. even with my close relatives, i do the same.
but suddenly, today, i was expected to sit beside this guy and make small talk in front of his family (which btw, comprised of his mom, elder brother, his wife and 3 kids, his sister and her husband).
how am i supposed to talk to him in front of our families when we hardly talk when we were alone? the seat beside him at the dining table was always somehow empty, and his sister and my mom kept asking me to sit down. riiiight... and do what?? nt wanting to appear rude, i just smiled at their 'requests'.
i didnt even say a word to him the whole time they were here. heck, i didnt say anything to anyone actually! hehe. but as they were leaving, i just said my thanks to him for coming over and asked a qn or two on how he's doing (at the door!).
sigh. it was so weird la. i dunno why other people cant see that this whole thing wont go anywhere. just coz someone is nice, has a good family background and stable job, doesnt mean that its so easy to get married to them. when 2 people are introduced, isnt it common sense to understand that there is a chance that it wont work out, even tho there are no major differences or factors involved? when a 'matchmake' like this is arranged, is it impossible to get out of? the worse thing is, i dun see him being so excited or psyched about this whole thing either. it's the families who have been pushing us, telling me that "he's interested but he's just shy", and trying to point out 'signs' that he's keen on this.
but even if he is, i'm not!
i noe i said that i'd give this a shot. but it's so so sooo hard when ur heart is just not into it. saying no is not an option, too. i noe, i tried it already.
i'm at my wit's end here. i guess all i can do now is to take each day at a time, stay as non-commital as possible and see how things go.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
the one who had little to say
I should have thought things through before I gave that little teaser at the end of my last entry.
What can I possibly say about a date who doesnt talk much right?
But anyways.
I got to know mr n last year. We started off conversing over the sms and met up a few times before. It's sort of a matchmake thingy by my family so I just gave it a shot for the sake of the other people involved in this.
The problem every time we meet is this...”cricket...cricket...” (sound efx courtesy of plastered heart).
At first I thought it was merely because we just got to know each other. But the last date I had with him a few weeks ago, which was the 4th, was really not much different from the 1st one.
The first time we met was for dinner after work, at this eating place both of us had always wanted to go. I ended work at 6, made my way down and reached there at 7 and I was home by.... 8.30. I told my mom that I wasn't coming home for dinner and SHE was surprised to see me back so early cos usually my dinner with friends will last until at least 9ish or 10.
During dinner, we tried to keep the conversation going... it usually revolved around work. Other topics surfaced but none were engaging... I really didn't remember much of it. You know how a typical dinner date will be followed by maybe drinks or coffee somewhere else but how could I suggest it when we were barely talking over dinner. It's not like we had so much to talk about to each other that we had to go elsewhere. So yeah, I was sent straight home (and it's not like HE suggested it either).
Dates two and three were slightly better (lasted more than 2 hours), but in terms of er.. quality of talk time, it was still so-so. After that, there was a long hiatus when he didnt ask me out, so I was relieved (at least I could tell my mom that HE stopped calling me mah).
But he did ask me out again for a movie recently. So how did it go? I really enjoyed it... the movie, that is. The show ended at about 4.30pm, still early right? So I thought we'd go for a meal at least. I was starving but when I asked him if he was hungry, he replied, “actually i'm not hungry.... but if you wanna eat, I can accompany you la.”
ok granted, he did offer to eat with me but so weird right? What is he gonna do while I eat? Twiddle his thumbs? We got nothing to say to each other! So I said it's ok, i'll eat at home. After that we basically just walked around the whole mall, without really shopping or window shopping. I was waiting for him to say something about where to go next or at least say that we should go off now, but he didnt! When we reached the spot where we first started walking from, I couldnt stand it anymore and just told him “Where you wanna go now? If you have nowhere in mind, just go home ah.”
Even though dates with mr n were very short, I always feel drained out. I think it's coz I have to think so hard of the next topic to talk about... have you guys ever done that before? It's tiring! Plus, I have to keep a polite smile or at least, try to not look too bored. That also sapped my energy...
As much as I want to give this a shot, and as much as my parents want this to work out, it's really futile. What's this talk about ppl getting better after they get married and will open up more then? At the current rate we're going, it's a huge risk that i'd be taking, by hoping that he would be a different person.
Maybe he's one of those guys who really don't know how to express themselves with words. But even if I accept the fact that he's not a very vocal person, I dont know how to work around it and build a relationship out of this. If there's some initial attraction or common grounds to start with, maybe it's possible. But this, like a friend said, is like fitting a circle into a square. It wont work.
I decided after I got home that day that I'm not going to waste time (mine and his) on this anymore. If he ever asks me out again, i'll have to say no. and if my parents ask about my progress with him, i'm going to have to tell them I cant do this anymore.
Wish me luck, hearties.
What can I possibly say about a date who doesnt talk much right?
But anyways.
I got to know mr n last year. We started off conversing over the sms and met up a few times before. It's sort of a matchmake thingy by my family so I just gave it a shot for the sake of the other people involved in this.
The problem every time we meet is this...”cricket...cricket...” (sound efx courtesy of plastered heart).
At first I thought it was merely because we just got to know each other. But the last date I had with him a few weeks ago, which was the 4th, was really not much different from the 1st one.
The first time we met was for dinner after work, at this eating place both of us had always wanted to go. I ended work at 6, made my way down and reached there at 7 and I was home by.... 8.30. I told my mom that I wasn't coming home for dinner and SHE was surprised to see me back so early cos usually my dinner with friends will last until at least 9ish or 10.
During dinner, we tried to keep the conversation going... it usually revolved around work. Other topics surfaced but none were engaging... I really didn't remember much of it. You know how a typical dinner date will be followed by maybe drinks or coffee somewhere else but how could I suggest it when we were barely talking over dinner. It's not like we had so much to talk about to each other that we had to go elsewhere. So yeah, I was sent straight home (and it's not like HE suggested it either).
Dates two and three were slightly better (lasted more than 2 hours), but in terms of er.. quality of talk time, it was still so-so. After that, there was a long hiatus when he didnt ask me out, so I was relieved (at least I could tell my mom that HE stopped calling me mah).
But he did ask me out again for a movie recently. So how did it go? I really enjoyed it... the movie, that is. The show ended at about 4.30pm, still early right? So I thought we'd go for a meal at least. I was starving but when I asked him if he was hungry, he replied, “actually i'm not hungry.... but if you wanna eat, I can accompany you la.”
ok granted, he did offer to eat with me but so weird right? What is he gonna do while I eat? Twiddle his thumbs? We got nothing to say to each other! So I said it's ok, i'll eat at home. After that we basically just walked around the whole mall, without really shopping or window shopping. I was waiting for him to say something about where to go next or at least say that we should go off now, but he didnt! When we reached the spot where we first started walking from, I couldnt stand it anymore and just told him “Where you wanna go now? If you have nowhere in mind, just go home ah.”
Even though dates with mr n were very short, I always feel drained out. I think it's coz I have to think so hard of the next topic to talk about... have you guys ever done that before? It's tiring! Plus, I have to keep a polite smile or at least, try to not look too bored. That also sapped my energy...
As much as I want to give this a shot, and as much as my parents want this to work out, it's really futile. What's this talk about ppl getting better after they get married and will open up more then? At the current rate we're going, it's a huge risk that i'd be taking, by hoping that he would be a different person.
Maybe he's one of those guys who really don't know how to express themselves with words. But even if I accept the fact that he's not a very vocal person, I dont know how to work around it and build a relationship out of this. If there's some initial attraction or common grounds to start with, maybe it's possible. But this, like a friend said, is like fitting a circle into a square. It wont work.
I decided after I got home that day that I'm not going to waste time (mine and his) on this anymore. If he ever asks me out again, i'll have to say no. and if my parents ask about my progress with him, i'm going to have to tell them I cant do this anymore.
Wish me luck, hearties.
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