teenage love affair

contributed by one of our readers, anonymous heart

I was fourteen. Young, naïve, and juvenile. All I wanted was an older boyfriend. Of course I needed to have an older boyfriend. All my friends had boyfriends who were older than them – and at that time, I thought it was “cool”.

My self-esteem was at an all-time low. Compared to my friends, I had no admirers chasing after me, asking for my number or just wanting to get to know me. I was the “ugliest” lot amongst my four best friends. My hair was thick and there’s nothing attractive about my facial features. I had bee-stung lips (and I still do now) and people say I was way too skinny for their liking. Walking skeleton, some might say.

Quoting from a popular girl in my class, “Guys like girls with some junk in the trunk.” (read: big boobs, ogle-worthy derriere, curvaceous silhouette) Obviously I didn’t fit into that category. I was flat-chested and I still wore a training bra. Oh well. No one will ever like me, I thought to myself.

Then entered Syam, a handsome and tall 20 year old whom I met through a mutual friend. I was attracted to him the moment this mutual friend introduced us to each other. What’s not to like about him? He’s

1. good-looking even though he’s donning nerdy spectacles
2. taller than me (though I’m not so tall myself. But guys like girls shorter and smaller than them, right?)
3. 6 years older than me (hello? I need to have somebody older than me, not the same age as me)

I was beyond ecstatic when Syam text-messaged me, saying that he would like to get to know me better. I already envisioned of us holding hands by the beach as a couple. I know. Far-fetched.

One thing led to another. And the next thing I knew, Syam expressed his feelings for me and would like to “propose” me to be his dearly girlfriend. I was on cloud nine.

Yay! I have got a boyfriend now! I smiled to myself. It felt good showing him off to my friends. Every time he fetched me, waiting for me at the void deck near my school, I felt really special. Now all my school mates who dubbed me as “not pretty” will know that I do have a boyfriend after all. Older boyfriend. It made me feel like I am a mature individual already.

One Sunday afternoon, we were eating Mee Soto at Ayer Rajah Food Centre with his friend Fazlee and Fazlee’s girlfriend, Seri. (Ever since I officially became Syam’s girlfriend, we frequently hung out with Fazlee and Seri. So-called double date). While eating, Syam rummaged through his sling bag and took out the set of photos that he just retrieved from a photo developing shop this morning. It was his Hari Raya pictures. His family and him. There he was. Standing beside his mother, who was seated beside his father. His sisters were standing behind their parents and there was a cute baby in his mother’s arms.

“Awww…look at your baby brother. How adorable! He looks just like you,” I purred.

“How old is he? There must be a huge difference in your age gap lah!” I added. Syam just kept silent for a few moments while I browsed through his set of pictures.

“Actually… That little boy is my son,” Syam finally voiced out.

What??!! I stared at him, flabbergasted. Turns out that it was his lovechild with his previous girlfriend. Apparently his ex-girlfriend didn’t want to take care of their child after giving birth. Syam had no choice but to take care of the baby (or rather, Syam’s mother).

It was a shocking truth for a fourteen-year-old like me to handle. This was my first real boyfriend for goodness sake. After his so-called confession, things were definitely different between us.

He even asked me, “Will you still accept me? With my son? Are you willing to be his step-mother?”

I was like, woah. Hang in there boy. I’m just fourteen, still young and carefree, our relationship are still considered new. I didn’t even know if I even want to marry you in the future. I mean, I like you very much and all (like, not love yet), but let’s take things one step at a time. So I just plastered a fake smile on my face.

Few weeks went by. We began to see each other less frequently – to a point where he didn’t call or message me at all. I called and left him dozens of messages, but to no avail.

What happened to him? My little heart wondered.That was when I received a text-message from him. Speaking of the devil, I thought.

Syam: For these past few days when I didn’t sms you, I’ve been going through a lot of thinking. My mom is fed up with me because she’s the one who has to take care of my son, not me. Two days ago my parents went to my ex’s place to meet with her parents. They want us to get married.

Right. This was a hint for me to go. I’m not going to be the third wheel in someone’s marriage (or someone who’s about to get married). Right on that moment I told him that I like him and everything, but we have to end our relationship there and then. I was furious with him for being such a coward. Why did he have to avoid me before telling me the reason for his silence? And break-up over the phone? He’s not a man enough to see me face-to-face. Jerk.

Of course when I think back, How silly of me. Maybe he was just finding a reason to dump me, so he cooked up a very big lie just to get rid of me. But now, it doesn’t matter. It’s from these experience that we learnt, and it made us a stronger person than we were before. I’m glad this happened, by the way. If I’m still stuck with that joker, I think I won’t be happy and I would be deceived by all his stupid lies.

Now, when I saw young schoolgirls displaying public displays of affection with their older boyfriends (I can tell because the girl is wearing her secondary school uniform and the boy is wearing his ITE uniform), I smiled to myself. I was in their position before. So naïve and yet so desperate to have a boyfriend, being intimate in public, ignoring the disapproving glances from passers-by… I cringed at the thought of that.

Well readers. That was my story. About a young teenage love experienced by yours truly.

Hope the intricate details will make you feel as if you’re in my shoes while reading it. And oh. All the names have been changed to protect every stakeholder’s confidentiality.

the one that was not meant to be

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.

One of the first guys I met online & offline was someone who used the moniker “Armitage” on IRC. He was an extremely interesting person to chat with. At that time, I was a self-confessed IRC addict, would log on daily to chat.

Anyway, I was in my 2^nd year of JC while I chanced upon this guy “H”, he was at that time in his 2^nd year of Singapore Polytechnic and he was in the same course as one of my close friends. Apparently, he was a close friend of my friend’s “uncle” of the same age.

After my A levels, I pretty much did not work and the only odd job I had was shuttling to Boonlay to teach tuition to my cousin. I even introduced IRC to her and on nights when I slept over, we’d be giggling together while chatting on IRC. Of course she knew of my online friend and also got acquainted with him.

Back to the guy…I’ve never gotten any photo of him on IRC hence I don’t know how he looked like. We chatted on the phone and his voice was sooooo swoonsome…even my cousin says so. She actually went: Sis, his voice makes me melt! (LOL). Being THE GOOD GIRL who followed mommy’s rule of study first boys later, I never went out on dates. I’ve always projected myself as this fierce girl in sec sch and when I get to JC, hmmmm…there isn’t any guys interested I guess. And I’m very bad at lying…so I shall not even try.

Anyway…”H” asked me out and I’ve always politely declined him. I wasn’t so scared because I knew he was a real person…kinda 6 degrees of separation. However, one day an opportunity arises…there was this seminar regarding after A level options that I wanted to check out so when he asked me out, I told him…well…if you don’t mind following me to that seminar, then I’d meet you. He agreed instantaneously. The date was fixed and I refused to ride his bike so what we did was agreed to meet and go to City Hall via MRT. Now, I was torn as to which MRT I should meet him at…If I chose the one near my place…I’d probably bump into neighbours or something. I had wanted to meet at Woodlands MRT but decided against it because it was too crowded. Finally, I agreed to meet him at Marsiling MRT station.

While waiting for him, I realized I was being too brave…I never really know who he was and have no idea how he looked like…just that he was supposed to be 1.8m tall. Then I finally met ’H’ and we took the train all the way to City Hall. (He had apparently boarded the train from SP to Marsiling) ‘H’ wasn’t a looker. He was tall, lanky and dark skinned but he’s alright on the whole. Anyway, my good friend was already waiting over at City Hall.( I had planned it in such a way that it would turn out to be a double date with my friend and her boyfriend) What I hadn’t planned was my friend to be at loggerhead with her boyfriend and we met all the rest of the gang at that seminar!

What was supposed to be a date instead became a group dinner at First Muslim Noodles Shop at Far East Plaza. It was really laughable. Luckily, “H” hadn’t seemed to mind. And when it was time to go home after the dinner, I had opted to take the bus home instead of going to the train with the rest. So he sent me back home.

Anyway after that he asked me out again. Again I declined…knowing full well that I would not be able to lie to my mom (my mom is kinda strict you see).

So he retorted on the phone: You tak boleh jumpa ke tak nak jumpa? (You can't meet or don't want to meet?)

To which I replied: Tak boleh la…my mom. (Can't la...my mom)

Him: kenapa? (Why?)

Me: Mak dia ingat anak dia lawa sangat. (This mom thinks her daughter is so pretty)

Him: Lawa ape…. (Pretty what...)

Hahaha. His reply really cracks me up. But of course I didn’t meet him again. I accidentally met him on the train when I was going to my Aunt’s place. He looked pleasantly surprised but that was to be our last meeting.

When I finally joined my school after A level, where I had a lil bit of freedom…he happened to be attached already. Apparently to a plump girl too! I guess plump was his idea of a perfect girl hehe.

And the last I heard about him was that he was involved in a bike accident where he was the pillion to my friend’s uncle. May Allah bless his soul. He had by far been one of the nicer guys I’ve met whom I got to know through online. Of course it was an experience worth remembering and well I guess in a way…it was not meant to be.

Hmmm how’s that for a sappy ‘love’ story? *winks*

p/s: i noe it's always w.h who posts contributions but unfortunately, all my fellow hearties are on a hiatus right now. so that leaves me as the sole custodian of this blog (not for long i hope!) let's wish they'll come back soon, missing you ladies!!!

a lazy friday entry

For the past hour, I’ve been fighting to keep my eyes open. A few times, I almost dozed off in front of the pc. It’s always during the magical hour between 3-4pm… looks like it’s gonna be an early friday night for me today.

Wanted to bubble an entry here but realised I’ve got nothing to write about! Pfft.

How about you, our fellow hearties and readers, tell me what you wanna know? Topics to raise, burning questions you wanna know about the hearties, what you hate/love to read about… anything la. As long as it doesn’t compromise our anonymity of cos :)

I know it’s cheating but I’m on a dry spell here, need some help to get those bubbling thoughts popping... heh.

Anyway, tgif peeps!

L-O-V-E (part II)

The following was a comment contributed by our reader, Vanilla, in response to plastered heart's post. We felt and thought (no heart and mind battle there!) that it deserves its own published space. :)


L-O-V-E, oh what do we all know about it, right?
It comes in different shapes, forms, sizes, colours, smiles, prayers, kisses, words, almost anything you can imagine. I've concluded for myself, to love is not to reason. And love never really has a reason. When we love something or someone, we just do. We don't need reason to love, nor does love need any reason. It's a feeling. It's here (touches the heart).

Somewhere in this process, the mind suddenly reappears to remind you - 'hey you, don't forget me!'. And there you go - we start to justify or give explanations to certain things which never did require any of those. When we need to rationalise love, then at best what we can have is a relationship. Someone once shared this previous line with me, till today it's tattooed in me.

I guess, it's a habit to think after we feel. Sometimes that spoils the pure beauty of a simple sensation called 'F-E-E-L'. Special things behold unexplainable understanding. Sometimes the tendency to think too much is pretty high on the scale, then it becomes a bloody pain and a tumour at the back of our mind. So I quit thinking when i'm feeling, especially when in love, still loving or loved before. It never made any sense in the first place.

I thought I could rationalise so that I know how to justify what I'm doing or why I'm feeling this and that. Is it because of hidden insecurity, just a habit or guilt of not using the brain, or whatever it may be - I gave up, it doesn't matter.

So some will say, I'm being naive or don't be stupid by letting your emotions get over you, and be driven to a state madness. Some will say, love is blind or love only sees what it wants to see. Sometimes, it's darn tiring to always hear what others have to say. Well, I've learnt and want to trust my heart. If it fails me, so be it. Get up and walk again. And, I don't mean to completely leave behind the mind totally, of course.

Now now now, Hearties, this perpetual war between mind and heart; reasoning and feeling; logic and sense, rationale and baseless; and what-have-you, shall be a whole lifetime affair it seems! I may have been through the thickest of such battle that it almost drove me completely nuts, it bashes me to the bone, and gooossshhhh I was like the world's most miserable-looking-thing! I'm better now (or so i believe). It can be depressing because you're constantly fighting with that inner voice of both the heart and mind.

Can u imagine when two voices are trying to compete for your attention at the same time, and justifying to you why one is superior than the other? It's insane!

Try listening to 'Have You Ever Been in Love' by Celine Dion.

I love it.

the one about the crush (part iii)

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.

M and I exchanged numbers in one of our chats. But we never progressed to chatting on the phone. If I remember correctly, he called once on the pretext that his University mate was looking for a tutor for the cousin or something and he had passed on his phone to his friend and I had passed my phone to my friend. Very silly right? LOL

We only SMSed Hari Raya and birthday wishes.

When M entered University, he was so preoccupied with his new routine that I rarely saw him on msn. Our usual chats died down and the only thing that kept our virtual friendship going were occasional emails. Each time I decided that it’s time to forget M, he’d pop back into my life.

Meanwhile, I was an avid blogger on Multiply and each time I blogged about something, he’d receive a copy of my entry. The beauty of Multiply allowed me to know who read my entry and when. But of course the person had to choose to open the email in the first place.

I realized then, that he’d pass on boring titles like "My day at work" and go for titles like "My Date with..." So I couldn’t help but adopt attention-grabbing titles. He was the first to read my entry grousing about my granny (the title had sounded like I was chiding a love interest).

Through that avenue, he managed to find out my birthday. He was 4 days too late but sent an SMS anyway:

M: Happy belated birthday! How, lots of presents? For me I never get any in fact have to give presents on my birthday.

I was pleasantly surprised to get that SMS, quite unexpected because our contact with each other had been sporadic lately.

Anyway being cheeky, I sent a reply:

Me: That’s all? No presents?

He: Yes, there is… A little prayer that you’ll be happy always, dunia & akhirat. (english: in this lifetime and afterlife)

Awwww! Do you guys get how I feel? These are exactly the kind of things that makes me fall deeper and deeper!

By this time, he had completed his degree and was scheduled to train in another country for 2 years.

At that time, he was already drawing his paycheck from his job training. Funnily he liked to withdraw his money at the ATM near my block even though there is one in the one of that central place near his block. And how did I know that? Because I get weird SMSes from him like: Eh still so early how come your kitchen light is on? Langsir dapur lawa sey. (english: Nice kitchen curtains)

How did he know which unit I lived in? I suspected that he had probably had checked it out when he was serving NS at the NPC right about the same time I shifted house. Yea, this naïve girl had disclosed her name then.

Anyway, after he landed a high flying job, our contacts had been very minimal. I no longer have his number after he had gone off to another country to do his training. MSN was our only mode of communication.

It dwindled from occasional chats to just a few liners.

And even when he returned back to Singapore, it seemed that his status on MSN is always OUT FOR LUNCH. Cannot be always out for lunch right?

And after reading Mr Greg Behrendt’s “He’s just not into you” self-help book… Well that’s probably what it was all about - He just wasn’t that into me.

Because let’s face it, he had every chance of asking me out if he wanted to. He can’t be that thick not to know that I have crush on him - after all he’s very intelligent.

So there I had my closure. It had always been a one-sided thing. I had a humongous crush on him but that’s about it.

Up till now I still have not deleted him from my contacts. It’s just a constant reminder of my memories with my dear VERY VIRTUAL friend/crush.

Well nevertheless I hope he is happy always and of course having memories like this is part of the growing up process.



And that my dear hearties, is my story.

I didn’t promise a happy ending now did I?

the one about the crush (part ii)

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.

(Actually I forgot to mention, M was able to pinpoint who I was from his patrol rounds was because it was not very common for someone in my area to go to the JC that I was schooling in. It is also mainly due to distance.)

M wasn’t exactly the pin-up guy that I’d drool over but certainly was pleasant looking. Being a ChiLay (mixed ah tu, of course not Chili and Olay LOL), he’s fair skinned. I’m partial to guys who are fair-skinned. But looks wasn't exactly the issue here.

(In response to wondering heart’s comment earlier about him sounding like a sincere guy as he still talked to me after knowing how I looked like… well that’s what attracted me in the first place. I had developed such a huge crush on him without realising.)

We continued chatting because looks wasn’t an issue for me and it seemed, not for him too. But hey, I might have weights issue but I’m gorgeous, lol! He is an interesting character – witty and funny. He was also religious and would advise me when I was whining sometimes. He even offered to lend me a “buku persiapan Umrah” (book on the preparations for Umrah) when he found out that I would be going for my Umrah trip (stupidly I had declined because firstly, I was stupid and secondly, because I had my own guidebook).

Anyway, in my own way, I tested to see if he’d agree to teach my brother tuition for Math. He was a Science student and judging from his Alma Mater, his Math must have been excellent. Apparently, he was in two minds about it… I even told my mom about this friend of mine when my mom was looking for a tutor for my brother. He didn’t take up the offer, though.

But one day, a fire broke out at the flat behind mine… and guess who was on duty that day? M was there in full view, cordoning the area off! He was facing my kitchen so I even called my mom to look. LOL!

So when we were having our normal chat on ICQ…
M: Were you at home last Thursday?
Me: I was out for registering myself at the school.
M: Can’t be out the whole day right?
Me: Oooh…no…in fact I managed to catch the drama unfolding behind my block. There was a fire. Policemen were activated. So many police cars, so many policemen! Some policemen were talking to reporter…and one particular one was cordoning off an area!
M: !!!

I realized then, that M was a shy guy. In fact a senior whom he was acquainted with, whom I sometimes chatted with, also said he was so. Anyway since my mommy knows what he looks like, she saw him when she was buying breakfast one day.

She told me and I asked him… “eh you went that someplace someplace to buy breakfast eh?”
M: Eh how come you never come over and say hi?
Me: I wasn’t even there lorr. I was in Botanical Garden on a field trip. (This is of course the truth)
M: Then how did you know?
Me: My mom saw you.
M: What? Oh no cover blown!
Me: Cover blown over so long already.
M: !!!

In fact, it was always my mom who saw him. And for a few times too! It was like Chinese movie “Turn Left, Turn Right”. There was two occasions that this was so:

1st occasion:
I was supposed to wait for my mom and my sis at an LRT stop. I had alighted at another stop (near his place) and when I called my mom to confirm the meeting point, I walked over to the correct stop. When my mom appeared, she told me: Eh we saw your ‘friend’, he was on the same train as us.

Imagine, if I had stayed at that stop, I might have probably met him there and then!


2nd occasion:
My family had planned a 2nd Umrah trip in 2005. Due to my insistence, because of work-related reasons, the dates were changed from the 2nd of June to a week later. And because of that… I had missed on being on the SAME flight and SAME hotel with M who was doing his Umrah then too. How much coincidence can it get? I got rather embarrassed about this but there and then I had prayed to God to give me a sign. If he was not the one for me, please let me forget about him and have him far away from my mind.

But guess what, just minutes before I was about to leave Mecca, I received an SMS: “Where are you?”

No prizes for guessing who sent it.


To be continued…

the one about the crush

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.

Now how do I start?

Let’s just say I was a net addict right from the start… after all towards the new millennium (at that time), Internet was the rage. Even with dial-up internet connection back then, it was really very addictive. I got withdrawal symptoms just by not using the net for a day. That was how bad it was.

mIRC was really the rage then. A/S/L was at the tip of my fingertips. It was fun… to able to hide behind anonymity, talking to many different people… sharing views… getting to know people.

Anyway, what started was… I was with my aunt who wanted to know what IRC was all about. So she sat beside me while I went through the motion. I told her that when a particular nick was highlighted, it meant someone wanted to talk to me. What I didn’t know was, on that same lazy afternoon, I would get to know someone whom I would eventually develop a huge crush on.

Anyway, he (M) seemed to be an uninteresting person at first. But as we chatted more and more, I got more and more interested. Finally, before we ended our chat, we exchanged emails.

What I had uncovered based on that chat was that he was undergoing NS police at that time, was from a different JC but that we basically lived in the same precinct.

I was 17 at that time, naïve, thinking that I could hide behind this anonymous mask that I’ve projected in this virtual world. Of course, despite my naivety, I still had some common sense to not give my full name and number. (but anyway, where got luxury like now - I got my first hdp when I was 20? LOL)

First on IRC, then on ICQ (the consistent eh oh sounds of yesteryears)… I really can’t remember how we switched to ICQ - probably the email bit… but we chatted quite frequently…. I had so much fun talking to him. We’d spent hours online - More so on weekends where I could stay up till 2a.m. sometimes.

So you see throughout my senior year in JC, where I should have paid more attention in my studies, I’ve spent my time on the internet - internet junkie mah… most of the time talking to this policeman conscript (lol).

Turning point came one day... a few months after my A’s. I was waiting for my results then. Bumming around at home, giving tuition to cousins - my father didn’t let me find a job while waiting for results so I had to abide Daddy’s word. Anyway, I was chatting as per normal with M when the conversation went something like this:

M: So you don’t go out?
Me: I don’t like to go out. (I should have kicked myself here LOL)
M: Why you don’t like to go out?

Readers…I was really in a crazy mood so I went:

Me: Coz people stare…

(Let me explain… to be honest, I was not confident of myself so I always criticized myself. I’m my worst critic… and I had issues with my weights… in essence that staring part was basically my feeling unsure about myself)

M: Why do people stare? Is it because you are plump, with short curly hair and fair?

I almost fell off my seat! IT WAS SPOT ON… but how the hell did he know?
Flustered…I answered back.

Me: Hey are you stalking me?
M: I just happened to patrol in your area and saw this JC girl wearing the JC uniform.

I asked for his photo but he refused to share it with me.

After that chat, the next day I realized something…

Then was in Apr, so it had been 6 freaking months since I donned that uniform. I got really freaked out I tell you… but that still did not deter me from talking to him. I tried many sorts of ways… finally he relented and sent me his photo.



To be continued…

ps: Ok I've decided to send u the first installment of my story. Will continue after Barren Heart finishes hers. LOL.

truth i must face

contributed by one of our readers, amorphous heart.

Kinda sorta started hanging out with my ex- again. A repeat, a pattern of seeing each other again once every 2 years when he is back in the area. We broke up 4 years ago, both leaving each other broken and hurt and changed.

I saw him 2 weeks ago. He hadn't called or emailed since I kissed his sweet lips. So I was depressed the entire past week and cried three times. Any sappy song on the radio or I heard during gym class got me teary.

I won't say that it's complicated - it's just very tangled up. We both know we are not getting back together. I take it that him not contacting me is a clean break... to think he did it because he loves me is comforting, to think he did it for himself is not so.

And then this evening just 5 hours earlier, I heard my cell ring and saw his name on my phone. I was elated… talked nervously and stammered and stuttered. I got him to laugh a few times. Guess my humor is still alive and kicking even when I am nervous talking to a guy I loved over and over.

When I found out that he spent his last weekend driving 45 minutes to a co-worker's for dinner, doing laundry and walking around the city, I was furious and hurt that he didn't have 5 mins to call me 7 days earlier. He didn't even have the courtesy to call to say he accepted his job offer last Friday! I didn't want to talk to him anymore. My stomach almost turned over inside out. He mentioned that he would be away for the next few 2 weekends for bachelor's parties. Which, to my internal calculations, means that we won't see each other till the June 20 weekend. I was mad at his indifference at my tears, my missing him, my hoping to see him too soon - even though I have no right to when I didn't tell him about all that. And I couldn't tell him all that because, in spite of my knee-jerk anger, I know I have no right to. Plus any other rights revoked since we are no longer together.

My good friend said I should be happy that he at least called to share a part of his life with me. I said I am only half happy. She said I am not longer his priority, his 1st person on speed dial, to break news to. I couldn't face the reality, his reality with my current expectations.

is it me or?

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.

I have a colleague ‘N’ whom I nicknamed Ahbeng. Don’t get me wrong, he does not dress nor look like one but he has this “why, wanna fight izzit?” demeanor with regards to work. It is also irritating to note that he certainly has mastered the art of Taichi and would always taichi work to the unfortunate me, who happens to be in the same department.

Mr Ahbeng is single and had once complained how he was 28, no girlfriend not married….blah blah blah. But I’ve experienced a few weird moments with him.

Incident one:
Anyway, on one occasion, where the two of us again were arrowed to do work, he had a lil’ question for me: Eh what if you like a Chinese guy, then how? I mean you really love this man you know and he does not want to convert.
I didn’t really want to answer him but replied anyway: I love God more.

Incident two:
I was talking to a colleague “A” who had just become a father and he was grousing about how expensive raising a child is.
I laughed jokingly at him and said: Seelah... who told you to get married and have a child?
A: You wait, your time will come and then I will laugh at you.
Me: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I’ll marry a rich man.
Unexpectedly, Ahbeng quipped: If you want rich Chinese man, I’m here, but no need to convert can?
There was an awkward silence before A and I talked about something else.

Incident three:
Once I had to go to the National Museum with Ahbeng for a course and I didn’t want to drive, so I got a ride from him instead. He drove his Sports car like a maniac and pretended not to know where to park his car. So where did he park instead? ROM! Freaky right?

Incident four:
And last year, at an overseas trip, I had jokingly pointed out to him a chart aptly named "Convert me", remembering the joke of last 2 years. His answer was: I told you the reason already, that’s what’s stopping me since 2 years ago.


I’ve since decided to keep my mouth shut and not try to be a smart alec. LOL. Is it me or Ahbeng might have a thing for me? I don’t know. One thing I'm sure of, his work attitude really sux and I just cannot stand him sometimes.

i want a guy who's rich and sane

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.

Let’s face it, as young as you can be, you’ve been exposed to ideas of romanticism through books, tv and movies. Then of course you’d have to excuse the inborn trait of wishing for a prince charming to sweep you off your feet. But fairy tales rarely happen in real life. Books lie, so do movies. Well at least for us singles who are still searching for The One.

There is a certain level of superficiality in everyone. If I say looks do not matter…I’d be lying through and through. Coz it does matter…at least a teeny weenie bit. Of course with that said, looks can be discounted if overall package in terms of mannerism is good. Seriously, nothing beats meeting someone who looks so blah and then finding out their mannerism sux as well.

My criteria for a guy is simple really.

He has to be RICH and SANE. They mean...

R - is Responsible;
I - has Integrity;
C - has Common sense (or Care);
H - is Honest.

S - Sincere (sincerity is a must);
A - Accepting (have to accept me the way I am);
N - Noble (I don't ask for much, at least be sympathetic and is filial);
E - Exciting (humour is a plus point really)

Not too much to ask right? Not as if I asked for the perfect guy. LOL

the one who taunted me

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.


I got to know “Z” through one of those networking site where you subscribe at a nominal price to contact others (anakmelayu.com). The site allows you to write what you’re looking for under your profile so my line was: Looking for the perfect man, but since there is no such thing as a perfect man, I’m just looking for my lost things lah…

So Z sent me an IM (in this case it’s called sticky notes) that said: I might not be the perfect man but I’d want to be your friend.

A browse through his profiles sent warning bells in my head. So “jiwang ah mamat ni” - he was so into Malay literature and looked like he breathed and lived in it. Nevertheless, I ignored the warning signals and even exchanged msn addresses. I thought it’s perfectly harmless to get to know a new person. So we chatted on msn for a bit.

Though I have a slim face, I’m not really one. But when he viewed my profile photo, Z kept saying that I was beautiful la...blah blah blah. Even to the point of quoting the song that was hot during that time, James Blunt’s “You’re so beautiful”. He kept asking me out but I always declined. I wasn’t playing hard to get but I’m seriously not the kind who meet guys randomly like that. However, I then discovered that my best friend’s colleague is actually Z’s sister (Z wasn’t aware of that). That and a push by my friend finally got me to agree to meet him.

Z picked me up in this small loud orange car that was screaming for attention. We hadn’t planned what to do that day. So in actual fact, if he was disappointed by what he saw… he could have cut the date short. But no… we went for coffee, dinner and then even watched a movie! All the time he was attentive, nice and we shared a good conversation. He did not display any signs of dread at all.

Anyway, after the meet up, (which Z initially termed a date) I sent him a polite sms to thank for the day out but there was no response.

2 days later on his profile, he posted a poem for “Si Dia” (That special one). I was like “HUH? Did I go out with someone’s guy?” So I messaged Z online through the site. Guess what? No response at all.

I was annoyed and needed closure, so I sent him an email. I knew exactly when he opened it but being the coward that he was, he never responded. So I thought that was it.

But 4 months later…I received a message from Z on msn. I had deleted his nick but had stupidly forgotten to block him. He sent a heart icon. “Strange,” I thought but since I was away from my computer at that time, I let it go.

The next time, I received another message from him - the heart wink. Curious, I sent him a msg. The following is an excerpt of what was exchanged:

Me: It’s weird that you keep on getting the wrong window.
Z: Yes, life is weird.
Me: Don’t get philosophical with me.
Z: You are still angry with me, you are entitled to.
Me: …
Z: can’t we restart?
Me: Restart what? (restart what? Nothing ever started in the first place.)
Z: Our Friendship
Me: Excuse me Mr Z, please define for me what it means by friendship, if it means keeping silent like that, that’s bull lah!
Z: I had my reasons then.
Me: care to tell me what is the reason?
Z: I felt something for you. You were decent, I was not so.
Me: that’s great, I’m decent and I got snubbed. Thanks a lot.

To cut things short, it was as though he was imploring me to forgive him, but of course who would be that stupid right? So when it was obvious that I would not back down, His parting line was: Stay sweet, diabetic and huge!

So much for him having feelings for me. Bluergh. I was so angry that I closed the window without remembering to block him.

The next thing I know, on another day, he sent me a message again on msn that went: Eh I think your car seat right, you have to make it bigger so can fit you.

It was too much right? In the first place, I could even fit into his freaking small car. But at least this time, I remembered to block him.

Totally annoyed, I went back to that site and sent him 2 sticky notes to give him a piece of my mind. It went something like this: I fat ke, I huge ke, what business is it of yours? For the record, I let God deal with people like you. Just want to say thank you because I finally am able to block you on msn.

And just so you know, the only reason I even agreed to go out with you was because I found out that your sister is my best friend’s colleague. Have a nice life. GOODBYE.

And you know what the best thing is? I have not even shared how this person looks like. If you guys have watched “Pendekar Bujang Lapok” before, I’m sure you are familiar with Ahmad Nisfu - The actor with the unforgettable nose… Well this fella can pass off as his grandson. Seriously.

I figured he must be a serial dater, going out with ladies must be his hobby and at the same time keeping his options open. Well guys like these can seriously go fly kite.