the one who caught me unaware

I met mr j about 4 years ago through friendster. He messaged me online first and I remembered it was a witty one. None of those “you’re so sweet, can I befriend you” kinda shit. I listed tim burton’s the melancholy death of oyster boy as one of my fav reads and in his message he mentioned he likes it too, adding on that he had a thing for morbid things. I thought that was cute and we corresponded from there. he wrote me long, funny messages… and he just talked about the most random things. From tim burton, we moved to the horrors of horror flicks, weird antics of the anal people we know, music (he played in 2 bands), work gripes, part time studies...

The thing about his writing was that he could make the most banal topic seem interesting and it was a real joy to get his messages coz he’d always make me laugh in front of the pc. What I liked most was that he didn’t need to try to hard to write all these. The impression I got was that he’s a real friendly, easy-going, talkative kind of person.

After sending almost-daily messages online for about a month, we finally decided to meet. First outing was fine, just dinner and coffee afterwards. He’s exactly what I imagined him to be. During our meet-up, he was chatty and disarming, and we arranged to meet again soon.

The next time was lunch on a Saturday. He said he’s working that day but can still meet me. So ok, while eating, he told me to drop by his office after that. I thought it’s kinda weird, coz what office is so open to visitors right? But he insisted that his colleagues won’t mind.

Off we went to this building which was nearby. There were a lot of people milling around outside, and mr j seemed to know everyone… he stopped to say hi to the people outside, on the way up the lift, at the corridors. It was quite a crowded office for a Saturday, I thought. Still I didn’t know what his company was doing, so I asked. Then he showed me to the reception area which had cashiers and a showcase of products they sold. Up to that point, I just assumed he was giving me a tour of his office. Then we came to this huge room with even more people. mr j told me this is where they have trainings. Then came the punchline.

“We’re having a talk for newbies soon. You want to sit in?”

I hesitated. I know I was a bit slow but it then dawned on me what this was. A recruitment exercise for unsuspecting victims into an MLM scheme. Duh! But there I was, stuck. The irritating thing about me is that I can’t say no. Or rather it’s hard for me to say no to someone face to face. He said it won’t take long, no obligations, just listen, blablabla…

So I sat. And I listened to the trainer (another young 20something guy), along with a few other newbies. From their unsmiling faces, I bet they were duped into coming here too. Trainer guy was saying how the most successful ones in the company could afford Ferraris and were already planning to retire by the time they hit 35. Then they showed us the products, a range of magnetic sheets… mattress, mattress covers, pillow covers, bracelets, the works la.

And it lasted all of 3 hours can! After that was done, I was assigned a ‘partner’, one of the salesperson there, who was trying to get me to sign in. To join, obviously I had to buy a product first. These things cost a lot mind you, at least $300 for the cheapest one. Of course I didn’t want, but these MLM people are damn persistent man! My partner told me to have a drink downstairs to think about it. All the while, I didn’t even see mr j, until at the coffeeshop where he appeared. Still as smiley and ‘genuine’ looking as ever. Even though I was peeved, it’s hard to show my anger with a place full of energetic, super-psyched up, motivated MLM-ers. I was outnumbered!

So what to do? I just couldn’t take any more of the persuading and cajoling and sales spiel. Just needed to get this over and done with. So I just bought the cheapest thing there, one magnetic sheet for the pillow case (was about $200 or $300).

By the time I got out of the hellhole, it was 7 in the evening and I met mr j at 2pm! By the end of the ‘date’, I was drained, broke and armed with a stupid sheet which I used for less than a month before it got lost in the storeroom.

Even now, this has been my worst and most embarrassing date ever. Who the hell gets conned on a date? But I have to say kudos to mr j for the brilliant build-up of a so-called friendship.

So can anyone beat my record? Please share if you do. At least I don’t feel like the stupidest girl on earth.