doormat. definitely.

why do men love bitches?

apparently, i'm not the only asking coz there's a book with that title. which i'm reading now.

before i go on, let me give you the definition of a bitch in this book. (please retract your claws now, all you real biatches reading this. thankyou.)

here, bitch doesn't mean 1) a female dog or female species of any canine or 2) a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman.

it just refers to a woman who stands her ground in a relationship, someone not afraid to voice her opinions when the situation calls for it and one who wont compromise the most important thing, her dignity and self-respect, for any man.

this lady has that je ne sais quoi, translating to 'i don't know what.' basically it's that something special that men cant seem to put their finger on, but are drawn to nonetheless.

it's not about looks; gorgeous women get dumped and end up with jerks too.
it's not about intelligence; even the not-so-smarts are known to possess this quality.

so what is this attribute? it is a woman that's comfortable in her own skin.

the opposite of the bitch is... the 'nice girl', or a less pleasant term used in the book, a doormat.

she's described as one who gives everything blindly to a man (even when they just get into a rship), because she wants so much for her actions to be reciprocated. she's the one who goes along with what she thinks her man will like or want because she wants to keep him at all cost.

to further explain the difference between the two, here are some case scenarios:

#1 He calls you and expects you to be at home
the nice girl will let the guy know she's leaving, where she'll be and wat time she'll be back
the bitch lets him think about where she is now and then. no 'reporting strength' here :P

#2 He says he'll call at ard a certain time. the call is 4 hours late
the nice girl yells at him and says she's worried, "you should have called!!"
the bitch isnt so easily upset, so she's harder to read. even if he does call, she may not even pick up the phone

#3 He seems withdrawn, pensive, nt particularly talkative
the nice girl continually pesters him and asks, "what are you thinking about?" she's worried he's pulling away from her.
the bitch is in her own thoughts, she doesn't panic, which makes him come her way.

#4 He is late for a date and keeps her waiting
the nice girl waits, calls him incessantly and tells him that he should 'value her more'
the bitch waits for half an hour, then make other plans

going back to the main question here, why are men so attracted to bitches? the difference here isn't so much about how you treat the guy. it's how you treat yourself. we may think that by giving a man extra tender, loving care, he will stay by your side. but mostly, that's not always enough. for most men, it'll make them run away even, especially if you give too much in the beginning.

let's face it. men love the thrill of the chase. if someone comes across as too 'easy' for them, they lose interest quickly. but when he sees you as a mental challenge, his interest is piqued and he'll try harder to get you. even after he gets the girl, he'll treasure her more. after all, he did have to put up a fight to get to where he is. imagine a child who's given a shiny new toy for christmas as opposed to one he bought himself after saving up for months. which do you think he'd treasure more? :)

in case you're wondering which one you are, they even had an "are you too nice" quiz. a test in which i failed miserably. lol! i shan't pose the questions here, you go read it yourself if you're interested :P

but here are 10 characteristics of the bitch mentioned in the book, where you may ascertain for yourself whether you are one or the other :)

1. she maintains her independence - she earns her keeps, not depending on her man or with her hand out to anyone.

2. she doesnt pursue him - the moon, the sun and the stars don't revolve ard him. she doesn't chase or keep tabs on him, he is NOT the centre of the world.

3. she is mysterious - this isn't about being dishonest. she doesnt lie but she doesnt reveal everything and wont put her cards on the table too soon. familiarity breeds contempt and predictability breeds boredom.

4. she leaves him wanting - she doesnt see him every night or leave him long messages. shes not always available to him, which leaves him to long for her.

5. she doesnt let him see her sweat - she avoids communication when upset. she clears her head first, making sure shes rational and speaks in a "bottom line" way.

6. she remains in control of her time - she takes it slow, especially when he wants to hurry. all in her time, preventing him from controlling her.

7. she maintains a sense of humour - this lets him now shes detached. but she doesnt treat disrespect as a laughing matter.

8. she places a high value on herself - she appreciates a compliment. she doesnt ask what his ex looked like or compare herself to other women.

9. she is passionate about something other than him - when he feels that he's not the "be all and end all" of her existence, it makes her more desirable. and staying busy ensures she isnt resentful when he's unavailable.

10. she treats her body like a finely tuned machine - she maintains her appearance and health. a person's self-respect is reflected on how she maintains her image. if he tells her he doesnt like red lipstick, she wears it anyway, coz it makes her feel good.

bitch or doormat, i think the above is pretty solid advice for any woman to take, whether she is single or attached; seeking for love or not.