what’s your aura?

I was walking past a group of male colleagues from a different department who were bantering amongst themselves when one of them turned to me and asked, “You’re married?”

I was stunned for a while at the sudden spring of question. I can’t remember what immediate thoughts came to mind but a couple of them were probably “Don’t I still look like a student?” and “Do I exude a married aura?” Haha.. but while I was stoned out from the lack of sleep that led to my delayed reaction, one young male colleague pointed to my hand.

I looked down and saw the ring gracing my right hand’s ring finger. “Haha… yea, I’m married to my mum,” I thought and looked at the other ring on my left hand… “and myself too”.

“Not yet,” I laughed in reply, only to regret later. Because I wasn’t there in the earlier part of their conversation, I had no clue what topic they were on. I’m not gonna delve into details, but let’s just say, with some guys (*gag), you’d rather leave them to believe you’re already taken or married just so that you’ll be left alone.

Anyway… it just reminded me of my friend who complained to me about being a swinging single but was always being mistaken as attached. Even after her last break up with her boyfriend, others always presumed she had already hooked up with someone else, although her social life was only just packed with catching up with her girlfriends over coffee and cakes.

Or another friend who laments about always being dismissed as unavailable just because… well, reasons unknown. She wondered, is it her dressing? Her looks? Her attitude?

A guy friend said that with some attractive girls, he wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they’re attached. In fact, he admits sheepishly that he would instinctively presume that they’re already “reserved” and are “untouchable”.
More often than not, the presumption would lead to a dismissal of any show of interest.

And when he finally befriends a particular girl and discovers that she is unattached, he’ll think of it as a case that’s “Too good to be true”.

I don’t know if he represents the majority in men. I have always had the impression that men would try their luck anyway and would only back off only if they had confirmed that the girl is unavailable or blatantly uninterested in them.

We stereotype, we presume, we judge – it’s human nature. How often have we girls been guilty of saying the infamous line “All good men are either attached or married”?

Isn’t it a curious thing how people presume what they presumed about you?

It depends on your aura, I tell you… like what sort of vibe you emanate or airs you possess.

There are obviously pros and cons to having a contradictory aura. While a single girl can use her mistaken ‘identity’ or ‘aura’ to her advantage to easily avoid unnecessary advances from undesired men, unfortunately, that would also mean that she would also be crossed out from the lists of eligible single men.

Can one's aura be changed then?

Anyway for me, it appears that I have a range of auras from single to lesbian to married.

So what’s your aura?