mr a was my first love. The best part about being with your best friend was that communication was always open and I could always count on him to be honest. But with the good, came the bad.
Since we started out as friends, we knew each other inside out. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a double-edged sword. Coz that meant you knew his flaws as well. So much so that you’d assume a lot… and that created a lot of problems. Same with being too honest. While it’s healthy to some point, sometimes the brutal truth can hurt.
He spoilt me silly initially, maybe coz it was my first relationship. But soon after, I began to take him for granted and more problems arose. I won’t go into the gory details of our relationship, but it ended with him falling for one of his colleagues.
It was messy; it was dramatic when I found out. But looking back, I cant blame him for everything. Ok, the cheating was his fault but he wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t take him for granted in the first place. I was a very difficult gf when we came into the 4th year of the relationship. After the anger has subsided, the dust has settled and you reflect on what went wrong, I came to realise that it took both hands for the break-up to happen. And in all fairness to him, he was a good boyfriend (except towards the last couple of months). I'm not sticking up for him but hey, it's a matter of fact. My family loved him, I got along fine with his parents... there were really no major obstacles to the relationship...
I know a lot of my friends still refer to him as the jerk who dumped me but even so, he’s still one of the best friends I ever had. Even after such a bad ending to us, I can still hang out with him and talk to him as a friend, coz that was what we started out as.
Most people are perplexed that I can be so nice to him after what happened but a friend is a friend.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t nice to him at all right after the break. It WAS a very bad ending. But to let go of all that we had before… it just doesn’t make sense. I think we stuck to what we agreed to years ago, that no argument was big enough to end our friendship, not even a break-up. What did end it all was his marriage last year. It was only then we stopped contacting each other.
That chapter is all over and done with now, but I can safely say that I have no regrets even if it didn’t end with a happily ever after. I had good times with mr a, and like some of you said, I do feel lucky to have experienced a love like that at least once in my lifetime.
the end :)
Since we started out as friends, we knew each other inside out. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a double-edged sword. Coz that meant you knew his flaws as well. So much so that you’d assume a lot… and that created a lot of problems. Same with being too honest. While it’s healthy to some point, sometimes the brutal truth can hurt.
He spoilt me silly initially, maybe coz it was my first relationship. But soon after, I began to take him for granted and more problems arose. I won’t go into the gory details of our relationship, but it ended with him falling for one of his colleagues.
It was messy; it was dramatic when I found out. But looking back, I cant blame him for everything. Ok, the cheating was his fault but he wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t take him for granted in the first place. I was a very difficult gf when we came into the 4th year of the relationship. After the anger has subsided, the dust has settled and you reflect on what went wrong, I came to realise that it took both hands for the break-up to happen. And in all fairness to him, he was a good boyfriend (except towards the last couple of months). I'm not sticking up for him but hey, it's a matter of fact. My family loved him, I got along fine with his parents... there were really no major obstacles to the relationship...
I know a lot of my friends still refer to him as the jerk who dumped me but even so, he’s still one of the best friends I ever had. Even after such a bad ending to us, I can still hang out with him and talk to him as a friend, coz that was what we started out as.
Most people are perplexed that I can be so nice to him after what happened but a friend is a friend.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t nice to him at all right after the break. It WAS a very bad ending. But to let go of all that we had before… it just doesn’t make sense. I think we stuck to what we agreed to years ago, that no argument was big enough to end our friendship, not even a break-up. What did end it all was his marriage last year. It was only then we stopped contacting each other.
That chapter is all over and done with now, but I can safely say that I have no regrets even if it didn’t end with a happily ever after. I had good times with mr a, and like some of you said, I do feel lucky to have experienced a love like that at least once in my lifetime.
the end :)
Thanks for sharing this really personal, emotional experience that you had.
ReplyDeleteAllow me to juz add in a quote:
"To reach out, to struggle, to give, to remember, to love, to have friends...is to have lived"
Anyway I've sent in my 2nd part of the "trilogy" and now after reading your ending will be sending in the final instalment. Hope you guys had fun reading it. *winks*
im STILL waiting for wh to post it here. can't wait to read! hehe
ReplyDeletehehe. oops. :) maybe i made too many grammar error kot?
ReplyDeletewe tend to give a lot more to our first loves... give them more chances - basically don't give up on them that easily.
ReplyDeleteand even when we all move on, our first love will always remain a huge part of us.
what's most important is that we all learn from our past mistakes :)
btw hearties, like any blockbuster trilogy, the sequels don't get published immediately... i'll be posting the installments by random heart soon, heh.