hi, my name is…

Chuck. Good Luck Chuck.

I swear it’s true. For those who don’t know, Good Luck Chuck is a movie about this guy who thinks he's cursed, coz after a girl sleeps with him, she finds the true love of her life and gets married.

There were a few instances where I ‘turned down’ a guy (not sleep with him!), and he’ll hook up in no time, and more often than not… they’ll get married!

For example:

Specimen 1: Mr F

Time: Circa early 2007

Synopsis: Met Mr F in late 2006, hit it off really well but we kept things casual and didn’t want to rush things. Around Dec, my ex made a proposal (as in suggestion, not the on-one-bended-knee kind) for us to try again. I faltered for a moment and told Mr F i’m considering the ex. Disappointed, he went off to get married within months.

Specimen 2: The Ex

Time: Still early 2007

Synopsis: After Mr F got hitched, I was kinda upset. Even though Mr F was no longer in the picture, I still couldn’t give my heart completely yet (yeah, I’m fickle like that). I asked for more time, which unfortunately, during that time, he met someone else. They tied the knot about a year later.

Specimen 3: The one who made me go hmmm

Time: Last month

Synopsis: An update on that entry. It turned out all that he was considering us getting together, which explained all that weird actions. To cut things short, I kinda blew him off initially. After thinking things over, I told him that we could give it a shot. But what’s done is done, and I couldn’t take back what I said before. He was in a depressed, suicidal mood just 2 weeks ago, telling me about how it’s hopeless coz he doesn’t think he can find someone now. But just a few days ago on facebook, I saw that his relationship status has changed! It’s someone he knew from childhood apparently.

So there you go. These are just the main ones I highlighted. There were a few others that I dated briefly who also got married to the next girl they dated.

Coincidence?

Of course la! I don’t believe I have such a curse (or gift, depending on how you see it. heh). It’s just uncanny, don’t you think?

the one who visited my house

the one who had little to say was introduced by a close family friend; he's actually the younger brother of this lady who's very close to my mom.

given the close ties my parents have with their family, it's a sticky situation and both families have been pushing very hard for this to go through. that means i cant just turn down or cease contact with him even though theres no chemistry betw us and i dun see myself going further in this.

it's been over a year since we were introduced, with about 4 dates under our belt, once-in-a-blue-moon smses and still, zero phonecalls. the one similarity i see with him is that we're both shy with people we're not comfortable with and we take a very long time to warm up to people. usually similarities are a good thing isnt it? but in this situation, it's kinda detrimental and makes it quite impossible for us to take this further.

i voiced out my concerns to my parents; but they still insist that i should maintain that minimum contact we have and try to keep this going. nevertheless, sensing that this really isnt going anywhere, my mom half-jokingly told that family friend that if nothing happens by this hari raya, it's a no-go.

obviously, i have been secretly wishing that NOTHING happens but, whaddya noe, just this afternoon, my mom told me that his family will be coming round our place for visiting..... *dread*

so how was it? awkwardness to the max la!

i'm not the super friendly type, nor am i the chatty hostess who can make small talk with guests who come to my house. usually, tat's my parent's job and i'll be helping out in the kitchen. even with my close relatives, i do the same.

but suddenly, today, i was expected to sit beside this guy and make small talk in front of his family (which btw, comprised of his mom, elder brother, his wife and 3 kids, his sister and her husband).

how am i supposed to talk to him in front of our families when we hardly talk when we were alone? the seat beside him at the dining table was always somehow empty, and his sister and my mom kept asking me to sit down. riiiight... and do what?? nt wanting to appear rude, i just smiled at their 'requests'.

i didnt even say a word to him the whole time they were here. heck, i didnt say anything to anyone actually! hehe. but as they were leaving, i just said my thanks to him for coming over and asked a qn or two on how he's doing (at the door!).

sigh. it was so weird la. i dunno why other people cant see that this whole thing wont go anywhere. just coz someone is nice, has a good family background and stable job, doesnt mean that its so easy to get married to them. when 2 people are introduced, isnt it common sense to understand that there is a chance that it wont work out, even tho there are no major differences or factors involved? when a 'matchmake' like this is arranged, is it impossible to get out of? the worse thing is, i dun see him being so excited or psyched about this whole thing either. it's the families who have been pushing us, telling me that "he's interested but he's just shy", and trying to point out 'signs' that he's keen on this.

but even if he is, i'm not!

i noe i said that i'd give this a shot. but it's so so sooo hard when ur heart is just not into it. saying no is not an option, too. i noe, i tried it already.

i'm at my wit's end here. i guess all i can do now is to take each day at a time, stay as non-commital as possible and see how things go.

the ones who played peekaboo

I’m reading the time traveller’s wife now. Such a lovely read, also coz im a sucker for good narratives. It’s a story of a man who time travels (duh!) and his wife who has to wait for him to come back whenever he disappears into the past/future. Time-tripping husband has no control over his disability/power and is unwillingly sucked into different time zones whenever he gets too emotional or sometimes, for no reason at all. His solidly-present spouse has the unenviable task of worrying for his safety til he returns coz time travel isn’t all that breezy (I wont disclose too much info, lest you call ‘Spoiler!’).

Anyway, reading this just reminded me of the time traveller-wannabes I’ve come across who also pop in and out mysteriously. I seem to know a number of this species of males who come and go as they please. For a week or two, they can be constantly smsing or calling me, asking me out. And suddenly, *poof*! Disappear for a few months, appear again out of the blue. Repeat cycle.

The one who was my best friend was the first of these males I encountered, back when we were friends. If there’s a hiatus from his daily calls, it could only mean one thing. He was attached. But his absence wasn’t too bad, he’d only be gone for at most a week or two (as long as his prev rships went. heh).

So from there, whenever the guys I know run AWOL on me, I’d just assume they got attached or are distracted with someone else. For some, I’d assume that they’re in some kinda accident or got into trouble and thrown into jail. Yeah I know, don’t you just love the optimism in me? :)

Recently, I had an experience with 2 different guys who said they wanted to meet me on a certain day (not on the same day of coz). The day came and no word, call or sms from them. Maybe something cropped up and they couldn’t make it or even sms to tell me... so I didn’t call them to bug. Weeks pass and still no word. Ok, I can take a hint. Above scenarios run through my mind and I forget about it.

But lo and behold, some moons later, these 2 guys make their re-appearing act. Just a nonchalant sms or MSN, “I’m back. Wanna meet?” or “So long never hear from you. How are you?”, like nothing happened.

Hmmmmm. Maybe I was overreacting? Maybe I misunderstood them and they DIDN’T say they want to meet?

I dunno. I stopped wondering long before they came back. Let’s see how long they can stay in my presence before they disappear again.

the one who fell in love with my friend

do you believe in serendipity?

I got to know mr y from irc (hey it WAS hot then, no judging!). As we got to talking, he found out I was from a certain polytechnic, and told me his cousin was studying there too. And it turned out that I did know her, although she's from a different course.

On our first date, as we were on the bus home, we made another discovery after asking each other which sec sch we came from. He asked me if I knew this girl, and it only turned out to be one of my good friends, who was my classmate for... oh, I dunno... all 4 years there? Then it hit me, as I recalled my friend telling us about her first love. Tadaa.... mr y! But that was eons ago, when they were both too young to love (I think).

Now at that time, I was close to this girl, ms e, and we'd talk to each other for hours, complain about boy problems (mainly hers) and entertain ourselves by teasing boys on irc. I told her about mr y and she was excited that I got to know a nice boy. Once, both of them were online and I think we got to group chatting. Or rather, I opened up a channel just for the 3 of us (it's not exactly msn) and introduced them both.

Ms e was a very outgoing and friendly girl... the kind who can talk and make friends with anyone. From the chat, I saw that they hit it off pretty well. Details are a bit fuzzy now (pls pardon me, this happened way back in poly before the millenium) but I think mr y's cousin was having a bbq party at east coast the next day. So on the channel, ms e and I were planning to meet first and get the present before heading to east coast. And for some reason, mr y offered to follow us to go orchard and suggested we make our way to the party together. I'm not that dense so I kinda sensed something there...

A sense of which came true when we all met the next day. I never believed in love at first sight, but I believe that's what happened to mr y that day, right before my eyes. It's kinda amazing how well they hit it off, both mildly flirting with each other, the way he was looking at her, totally enamored. I told myself, “He's hooked.”

And true enough, the day after the bbq, mr y called me and told me he's so into my friend. Duh! It really wasn't any surprise and honestly, I didnt even feel jealous or anything. I was young then and although mr y was a very, very nice guy, I wasnt that affected. Ok maybe just a little bit, but there was nothing going on with mr y and I in the first place anyway.

So they did hook up and got engaged a few years later. After another couple of years, they broke up for a year I think. But thankfully, they got back together and got married! I was invited of course, even though we lost contact for a long while. At the wedding dinner, the bride and groom were telling their guests about their love story, and they gave their special thanks to me for bringing them both together :) it was all very sweet until they called out my name to ask me to stage. Gah!

There I was in the back, willing myself to look invisible so they couldnt spot me. Lol! Well, I did say hello to them on my way in, so they KNEW I was there...

Bride: Ms barren, ms barren... please show yourself. I think we all want to see who's our matchmaker...
Groom: Tadi dia ade tau, mana dia eh? (She was just here, where is she now?)

It's sweet that they want to give due credit to moi but so embarrassing la! I made it up by showing up at the end to congratulate them...

Looking back, it's kinda funny how things turned out. But I'm glad I had a hand in bringing two people together :)

the one who had little to say

I should have thought things through before I gave that little teaser at the end of my last entry.

What can I possibly say about a date who doesnt talk much right?

But anyways.

I got to know mr n last year. We started off conversing over the sms and met up a few times before. It's sort of a matchmake thingy by my family so I just gave it a shot for the sake of the other people involved in this.

The problem every time we meet is this...”cricket...cricket...” (sound efx courtesy of plastered heart).

At first I thought it was merely because we just got to know each other. But the last date I had with him a few weeks ago, which was the 4th, was really not much different from the 1st one.

The first time we met was for dinner after work, at this eating place both of us had always wanted to go. I ended work at 6, made my way down and reached there at 7 and I was home by.... 8.30. I told my mom that I wasn't coming home for dinner and SHE was surprised to see me back so early cos usually my dinner with friends will last until at least 9ish or 10.

During dinner, we tried to keep the conversation going... it usually revolved around work. Other topics surfaced but none were engaging... I really didn't remember much of it. You know how a typical dinner date will be followed by maybe drinks or coffee somewhere else but how could I suggest it when we were barely talking over dinner. It's not like we had so much to talk about to each other that we had to go elsewhere. So yeah, I was sent straight home (and it's not like HE suggested it either).

Dates two and three were slightly better (lasted more than 2 hours), but in terms of er.. quality of talk time, it was still so-so. After that, there was a long hiatus when he didnt ask me out, so I was relieved (at least I could tell my mom that HE stopped calling me mah).

But he did ask me out again for a movie recently. So how did it go? I really enjoyed it... the movie, that is. The show ended at about 4.30pm, still early right? So I thought we'd go for a meal at least. I was starving but when I asked him if he was hungry, he replied, “actually i'm not hungry.... but if you wanna eat, I can accompany you la.”

ok granted, he did offer to eat with me but so weird right? What is he gonna do while I eat? Twiddle his thumbs? We got nothing to say to each other! So I said it's ok, i'll eat at home. After that we basically just walked around the whole mall, without really shopping or window shopping. I was waiting for him to say something about where to go next or at least say that we should go off now, but he didnt! When we reached the spot where we first started walking from, I couldnt stand it anymore and just told him “Where you wanna go now? If you have nowhere in mind, just go home ah.”

Even though dates with mr n were very short, I always feel drained out. I think it's coz I have to think so hard of the next topic to talk about... have you guys ever done that before? It's tiring! Plus, I have to keep a polite smile or at least, try to not look too bored. That also sapped my energy...

As much as I want to give this a shot, and as much as my parents want this to work out, it's really futile. What's this talk about ppl getting better after they get married and will open up more then? At the current rate we're going, it's a huge risk that i'd be taking, by hoping that he would be a different person.

Maybe he's one of those guys who really don't know how to express themselves with words. But even if I accept the fact that he's not a very vocal person, I dont know how to work around it and build a relationship out of this. If there's some initial attraction or common grounds to start with, maybe it's possible. But this, like a friend said, is like fitting a circle into a square. It wont work.

I decided after I got home that day that I'm not going to waste time (mine and his) on this anymore. If he ever asks me out again, i'll have to say no. and if my parents ask about my progress with him, i'm going to have to tell them I cant do this anymore.

Wish me luck, hearties.

the one who was my best friend (part deux)

mr a was my first love. The best part about being with your best friend was that communication was always open and I could always count on him to be honest. But with the good, came the bad.

Since we started out as friends, we knew each other inside out. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a double-edged sword. Coz that meant you knew his flaws as well. So much so that you’d assume a lot… and that created a lot of problems. Same with being too honest. While it’s healthy to some point, sometimes the brutal truth can hurt.

He spoilt me silly initially, maybe coz it was my first relationship. But soon after, I began to take him for granted and more problems arose. I won’t go into the gory details of our relationship, but it ended with him falling for one of his colleagues.

It was messy; it was dramatic when I found out. But looking back, I cant blame him for everything. Ok, the cheating was his fault but he wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t take him for granted in the first place. I was a very difficult gf when we came into the 4th year of the relationship. After the anger has subsided, the dust has settled and you reflect on what went wrong, I came to realise that it took both hands for the break-up to happen. And in all fairness to him, he was a good boyfriend (except towards the last couple of months). I'm not sticking up for him but hey, it's a matter of fact. My family loved him, I got along fine with his parents... there were really no major obstacles to the relationship...

I know a lot of my friends still refer to him as the jerk who dumped me but even so, he’s still one of the best friends I ever had. Even after such a bad ending to us, I can still hang out with him and talk to him as a friend, coz that was what we started out as.

Most people are perplexed that I can be so nice to him after what happened but a friend is a friend.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t nice to him at all right after the break. It WAS a very bad ending. But to let go of all that we had before… it just doesn’t make sense. I think we stuck to what we agreed to years ago, that no argument was big enough to end our friendship, not even a break-up. What did end it all was his marriage last year. It was only then we stopped contacting each other.

That chapter is all over and done with now, but I can safely say that I have no regrets even if it didn’t end with a happily ever after. I had good times with mr a, and like some of you said, I do feel lucky to have experienced a love like that at least once in my lifetime.

the end :)

the one who was my best friend

2009 marks 10 years of my friendship with mr a. It all started a decade ago, from just one chat on mirc (yes, if you recall, it was all the rage then). Normally, I don’t give out my number to chatters on IRC. But as we chatted, I found that he’s actually a friend of my poly mate. Somewhat comforted by this close degree of separation, we exchanged numbers.

On our first phone call, I remembered being wary of him and was acting rather cool. But even so, there was hardly any awkward moment coz he was easy-going and eloquent, always with something to say but without sounding pompous. He had a way of drawing people out from their shells and soon enough, I warmed up to him. From one call, it progressed to daily calls, sometimes a few times a day. Each call would last at least 1 hour, sometimes 2. Our record was an ear-burning 4 hour marathon. Funnily, in those hours, we never felt tired and it never ceased to amaze even ourselves what we talked about. It was really about everything and nothing… complaining about our siblings, telling each other how our days went, his never-ending girl problems, NS woes and even toilet habits!

Soon it was almost impossible to go a day without talking to each other. Whenever I had a bad day or saw something on TV that made me laugh, he would be the person I’d think of to share it with. He turned to me when he had a crush on someone or broke up with a girl or when his bike broke down in the middle of the road. In short, we told each other everything.

The weirdest part was, we reached that point in our friendship 2 years after that first chat but we had never seen each other. Not one meeting. Yeap, he was my invisible best friend. My confidante without a face. He was practically a stranger and yet, I never felt so at ease with anyone else. On my part, perhaps it was BECAUSE we had not met each other, that’s why I opened up the way I did.

As friends, we loved each other. A friendship not based on looks, money, status or material things but from sharing of experiences and inner most secrets.

All throughout this phase, we only fought once. I can’t remember what it was about but it resulted in us staying on the line for 15 minutes without saying a word, both fuming but refusing to hang up first. 1 week of not talking to each other. But he called me eventually, saying that it’s too weird not talking to me for so long. I admitted that I missed our conversations too and we decided then that no argument will be too big to end our friendship.

We did meet up eventually of course, after almost 3 years of being friends. It wasn’t even a date, we just met up to study together near my place. Even though I was looking pretty hideous with my unruly hair and thick specs, and him with his bloody blue-tinted glasses, how we looked did nothing to diminish what we had, which really was something :)

The turning point of our friendship was when he entered into university. With new friends and a busier social life, he became more preoccupied. Each call would always be about his new found friends, and how he was having so much fun. From there, I felt different. I didn’t know what it was then coz the emotion was something I never felt before, but I was jealous. I felt like he was starting over a new life but without me in it and I felt crappy about it.

Now, I never had any kind of close friendship with a boy at that time. He was my first close guy friend. And I’ve always prided myself as someone who was independent, I was perfectly happy being single and I didn’t feel any need to get attached. So at that time, I surprised myself by being so affected by all these changes happening to him. It dawned on me that maybe he doesn’t need me after all. And another thought came crashing after that. The reason I was jealous was because I was dependent on him.

It was more than I could take. I did NOT want to depend on someone else to feel happy. I was happy on my own. All these years, without me realising, I had opened up myself too much and now I was in trouble. I decided then that I had to ‘break up’ my friendship with him to stop myself from getting any deeper.

When I dropped the bomb on him, he was stunned. In all fairness, things were going great and I never mentioned my insecurities to him. I told him my reasons for doing this. Even though we’re close and we care deeply for each other, he was after all just a friend. Not my boyfriend. I can’t possibly rely on him all my life coz eventually we’re going to hook up with other people.

He panicked and didn’t understand why I needed to leave him. He then began his big speech… on how the chemistry between us was so amazing, how we clicked so well, and how we always ‘get’ each other, and that it’s weird to be with someone else. He asked me, what if we got married to other people? Wouldn’t it be wrong knowing that the only person we can confide in wasn’t our partners, but in each other?

It was then, we both realised, that we can’t just be friends. After 3 years of friendship, we had come to love each other so much that it seemed silly to not take the next step. And the only natural step to take was forward… into a relationship together.

Thus began, my relationship with my best friend.

tbc...

the one who was too atas

Have you ever went out with someone who made you feel inferior? Not someone who looks down on you or talks in a condescending way. But someone who’s just so way up there that you feel… little.

This guy I got to know was just like that. His profile was what made me reply to his msg to me. In less than 50 words, he came off as a witty, smart and yet unassuming kinda guy.

After a few exchanges online and over sms, we agreed to meet. He’s really cute in person, just the right height (haha) and he picked me up in his swanky continental car. Not what I expected at all. As we were talking, I got to know more about him…his high-flying post at a big company, his hobbies, in which I saw just how freaking talented he is, where he was schooling before… In short, his resume is mighty impressive.

Then he went on about the music and bands he likes and general views about pop culture. He’d ask me if I heard about this band or read about this theory… most of the time my answer would be “er…no”. He’d go on telling me about this and that, to which I’d have nothing much to say coz I have no freaking idea what he’s talking about! Cheemology to the highest level man, this one. A smart guy is a turn-on but his repository of knowledge is so vast that I’m beginning to feel like an ignorant little girl beside him. Very unflattering and not great for self-esteem.

He must have felt the same coz after 2 dates, he was gone.

But a few months later, he popped up on the radar and we chatted again. This time, he lamented that there are no interesting girls to get to know online. I guess by that, he meant I’m not interesting enough for him. Fair enough and I couldn’t agree more :P

I told him, there are some happening chicks out there, just that he hasn’t found any. Coincidentally, I knew of a friend’s friend, this girl who was smart and outgoing, which I thought would be suitable for him. So I just gave him her profile page link and told him to just send her a message. I told him I don’t know her, but from her profile, she seemed interesting… which was a half lie coz I did know her a little.

After that, I never heard from him again. But many moons later, I heard from my friend (the friend of that girl’s), that she’s dating this super-atas guy who drives a certain continental car and works at so and so company.

Whaddya know, my Cupid's arrow got a bull's eye. I guess I did my good deed for a fellow single lady :)

the one who caught me unaware

I met mr j about 4 years ago through friendster. He messaged me online first and I remembered it was a witty one. None of those “you’re so sweet, can I befriend you” kinda shit. I listed tim burton’s the melancholy death of oyster boy as one of my fav reads and in his message he mentioned he likes it too, adding on that he had a thing for morbid things. I thought that was cute and we corresponded from there. he wrote me long, funny messages… and he just talked about the most random things. From tim burton, we moved to the horrors of horror flicks, weird antics of the anal people we know, music (he played in 2 bands), work gripes, part time studies...

The thing about his writing was that he could make the most banal topic seem interesting and it was a real joy to get his messages coz he’d always make me laugh in front of the pc. What I liked most was that he didn’t need to try to hard to write all these. The impression I got was that he’s a real friendly, easy-going, talkative kind of person.

After sending almost-daily messages online for about a month, we finally decided to meet. First outing was fine, just dinner and coffee afterwards. He’s exactly what I imagined him to be. During our meet-up, he was chatty and disarming, and we arranged to meet again soon.

The next time was lunch on a Saturday. He said he’s working that day but can still meet me. So ok, while eating, he told me to drop by his office after that. I thought it’s kinda weird, coz what office is so open to visitors right? But he insisted that his colleagues won’t mind.

Off we went to this building which was nearby. There were a lot of people milling around outside, and mr j seemed to know everyone… he stopped to say hi to the people outside, on the way up the lift, at the corridors. It was quite a crowded office for a Saturday, I thought. Still I didn’t know what his company was doing, so I asked. Then he showed me to the reception area which had cashiers and a showcase of products they sold. Up to that point, I just assumed he was giving me a tour of his office. Then we came to this huge room with even more people. mr j told me this is where they have trainings. Then came the punchline.

“We’re having a talk for newbies soon. You want to sit in?”

I hesitated. I know I was a bit slow but it then dawned on me what this was. A recruitment exercise for unsuspecting victims into an MLM scheme. Duh! But there I was, stuck. The irritating thing about me is that I can’t say no. Or rather it’s hard for me to say no to someone face to face. He said it won’t take long, no obligations, just listen, blablabla…

So I sat. And I listened to the trainer (another young 20something guy), along with a few other newbies. From their unsmiling faces, I bet they were duped into coming here too. Trainer guy was saying how the most successful ones in the company could afford Ferraris and were already planning to retire by the time they hit 35. Then they showed us the products, a range of magnetic sheets… mattress, mattress covers, pillow covers, bracelets, the works la.

And it lasted all of 3 hours can! After that was done, I was assigned a ‘partner’, one of the salesperson there, who was trying to get me to sign in. To join, obviously I had to buy a product first. These things cost a lot mind you, at least $300 for the cheapest one. Of course I didn’t want, but these MLM people are damn persistent man! My partner told me to have a drink downstairs to think about it. All the while, I didn’t even see mr j, until at the coffeeshop where he appeared. Still as smiley and ‘genuine’ looking as ever. Even though I was peeved, it’s hard to show my anger with a place full of energetic, super-psyched up, motivated MLM-ers. I was outnumbered!

So what to do? I just couldn’t take any more of the persuading and cajoling and sales spiel. Just needed to get this over and done with. So I just bought the cheapest thing there, one magnetic sheet for the pillow case (was about $200 or $300).

By the time I got out of the hellhole, it was 7 in the evening and I met mr j at 2pm! By the end of the ‘date’, I was drained, broke and armed with a stupid sheet which I used for less than a month before it got lost in the storeroom.

Even now, this has been my worst and most embarrassing date ever. Who the hell gets conned on a date? But I have to say kudos to mr j for the brilliant build-up of a so-called friendship.

So can anyone beat my record? Please share if you do. At least I don’t feel like the stupidest girl on earth.

apple of my eye

the one who had nervous eyes

I went on a couple of dates recently with an awfully shy guy. From what I heard, he hasn’t had much experience with girls, and never had a girlfriend before even though he’s currently at the ripe age of 35. A really decent guy this one; stable job, drives a car, takes good care of his mom. Very marriage material. But I can tell that every time we go out (it’s been 3 - 4 times now), he’s still nervous around me. Now, I’m not particularly chatty myself. But I’m a fairly ‘responsive’ dater. That means if the other party makes the first move, I’ll reciprocate; if he’s talkative, I’ll encourage him to talk more. And if he’s at ease with me, I’ll naturally be more comfortable around him too.

And the reverse is also true. If someone is nervous around me, I’ll be restless. This guy I went out with gets really fidgety when we meet. He’d shake his legs when we sit down for a meal (I felt like telling him to stop it after 10 seconds). He looks left and right whenever talking to me, very hardly maintaining eye contact. And sometimes, I’d catch his fingers/hands shaking. Sigh. I’m so scary meh?

I don’t know how long he’ll take to lose his nerves with me. I'm sorry to say this, but it’s becoming a tad bit annoying. Like going out with a primary school boy la. I’m no expert in playing the field and I definitely am not looking for someone with a long dating history. But I don’t want to go out with a dating ‘virgin’ either.

People say I should give him a chance, that he’s fine when he’s around his family and friends and he’s just very very very shy. But it’s been 4 – 5 months since I got to know him and I’m getting tired for something to happen. Chemistry cannot be forced and I doubt it’ll appear miraculously out of nowhere.

Oh wells. I'm just going to give him a few more months. If no progress... next!!!


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windows to the soul

As I was doing my post mortem on mr nervous eyes, I was doing a bit of self-reflection. Even as I complain that he doesn’t look at me in the eye when he talks, I’m actually also guilty of having shifty eyes. Heh. Not as much as him (I hope) but yeah, sometimes when I’m not too familiar with the person I’m talking to, I tend to look around. Bad habit, I know. I think it’s a sign of low self-esteem?

So when I meet people with whom I can maintain steady eye contact with, I know that this is a) someone I can trust or b) someone special. You know they said the eyes are the windows to the soul. By letting someone look deep in your eyes and by gazing into theirs in return, it’s almost like you’re opening up to them without having to say a word. And when someone looks at you straight, you feel as if they are telling the truth and have got nothing to hide. And I realised it’s this kind of openness that I tend to fall in love with.

But of course, I don't love just any Tom, Dick or Harry who stares at me. That can be kinda pervy right? :P

Oh and one more thing about eyes (sorry for this temporary obsession). I realise I tend to develop crushes on guys with nice, clear eyes. I don’t know how to describe it. Not… murky? Lol. And speaking of nice eyes, I just met up with an ex-crush whose eyes I’d love to gaze at forever *swoon*

In any case, that debbie gibson song, lost in your eyes, really does make more sense now :)

the perfect date

Recently, I had a lovely date. We met for lunch, went to a lovely café for tea, did some window shopping, and finally, had dinner while people watching and bitching about innocent passersby. During the date, I was at ease with my companion, the mood was relaxed, and I had the best conversations throughout the day… the kind that just flowed.

Too good to be true? Not if my date is a girl :)

No, I’m not that desperate to switch to the other side (yet) but yes, a lot of my good dates recently had been with the girls. My girlie dates.

At the end of that date, I was telling my friend how nice it would be to spend the whole day like this with a guy. Just chilling out, no need to try so hard to impress the other party and no need to rack your brains to think of the next politically correct topic to talk about (there’s only so much about the weather we can talk about). Why is it so hard to find someone who just can hang out with us? A good date doesn’t have to be just going to the movies or having a meal per se. It’s just spending quality time with each other and enjoying each other’s company.

As you get older, I guess every date becomes more significant. Each outing is like a test on whether this will be The One. Every word, every move and gesture is scrutinised and analysed. And of course, there’ll be the post mortem, which sometimes can be just as exhausting as the date itself. And for most parts, take much longer than the date itself. heh.

So inevitably, this puts a certain pressure on the date and that takes away some of the fun and spontaneity that I wanted. I guess it’s all self-inflicted. I really shouldn’t be thinking too much about the dates I go on, right? If I am so comfortable going out with my girl friends, then I should treat the guy like a friend too. I think that takes away the heat from myself too. Anyway, I work best under casual conditions :)

Of course, for me to treat the guy like a friend, I have to like him as one too and above all, be able to hold a decent conversation with him. Someone who clicks with me. Now that’s the tricky part, sifting through this (almost empty) basket of available men and trying to find one that matches your personality.

A friend forwarded me this website that may be able to make this sifting a bit easier, if you believe in this kinda thing anyway :) Click here.

Just for fun, I went to the love matches to check which animal would complement my Chinese sign. The descriptions are really funny. So even if you don’t believe in this, it’d be good for a laugh.

Anyway according to Ms White, my perfect date should be with Mr Ox, Snake or Pig. Cluck cluck :)

i wish i may, i wish i might

they said the person you will end up with is usually the one you didn't want in the first place.

it's this liner that made me avoid listing my 'criteria' for a guy. i'd give vague answers when people ask, what do you look for in a man?

i fear, once i say it out, i would get the exact opposite. but i am only human. of course i have my preferences in guys.

and if the above line rings true, i'll end up with a younger, vertically-challenged, humourless, non-malay boy.

how? how??

speaking of vertically-challenged, not that i have anything against them. just that it's weird to be walking beside a guy who's a few cm shorter than you. it's worse for the man, i'm sure. i'm not that tall, but i tower above most of my gfs.

let's say i'm 1.68m, a guy who's 1.7m will still look short beside me. in flats. imagine if i'm in heels! he'd have to be at least 1.75m to not look like a midget beside me.

funny thing is, a lot of the guys i date happen to be shorter than me or fall below that magical, minimum height requirement. i know, i know... physical appearances aren't important. but hey, you can't deny that first impressions count. and i've always had a thing for guys who appear more 'big brotherly' to me. someone i can look up to. in some ways, that translated to looking for someone taller.

i think there's a dire lacking of tall, single guys here. what irks me more is when i see a tall guy holding hands with a short chick. wats up with that? can you petite ladies give your gangly men for people who need these guys more, like moi? Lol.

but maybe it's the men who have a thing for the cuter, smaller girls. less intimidating perhaps? they wanna appear stronger and wanna look like they can protect their pint-sized ladies perhaps?

ah well.

recently, i did go out with this guy who was just 2cm taller than me (yes, we asked each other's heights before meeting). was an impromptu dinner, and i was wearing heels. obviously, i looked very much taller than him la. i thought he'd be put off or wouldn't wanna go out again. but surprisingly, he did ask me out for coffee again. he seems like a nice guy, funny and quite chatty. we'll see how that goes.

i'll just have to wear ballet pumps when i meet him.

the one who was too intense

I got to know mr d from a friend. after meeting him twice, and a few online chats over msn, that was it.

I’m sure he’s a nice guy. but I get the feeling that he tried too hard maybe? to a point of being… to borrow Simon Cowell’s vocab… affected.

firstly, he talks funny.

like in a nigga-style kinda way.

“dude, howzit trippin’ ya’all” kinda way.

nu york rapper gangsta kinda way.

ok you get the picture.

secondly, he was too intense for me. cases in point:

intense moment no. 1

before we met for our first date, he was telling me how it’s been ages since he went out with a girl and that he had nothing to wear. i reassured him, saying he doesn’t need to dress up or anything. just t-shirt and jeans will do. i don’t really like guys who are too formally dressed anyway, so it’s fine.

when we met, he told me he needed to get new clothes and asked me to help him choose some nice stuff. shopping to make a guy look better? sounds like a swell idea to me :)

or so i thought…

first up was shoes, he was looking for nice boots. went inside this shop where a nice, chirpy uncle greeted us. the shoes that he wanted was there so he was trying them on. he didn’t know what shoe size he was so this nice uncle brought out that shoe-measuring thingimagic for him. this ah pek got down to his knees and helped mr d with that shoe instrument. of coz he had to right, he was just doing his job.

but mr d got visibly irritated, told the uncle that he could do it himself. uncle went “it’s ok, it’s ok, i help you…” mr d went tsk tsk at nice uncle, and his face turned black. i think he might even have cringed when the uncle helped him. i was thinking, what’s up with this guy?

in the end he didn’t even buy the shoes and just walked out. when we were out of the shop, he told me he didn’t like people touching his feet. or more like, “no one touches my feet.” he was so agitated and kept telling me how he hates it. all right, I don’t like strangers touching me too, but take a chill pill dude (another one of his favourite, VERY often used phrase btw).

next was shirts. went to a certain trendy fashion chain where he picked out some dress shirts. tried on a few, asked me which one i thought was nicer and he actually bought the one that i picked out for him. now, from that short 2-3 hours i spent with him that day, i can tell that he’s very prudent with his money and won’t splurge on things like clothes (which was why he hasn’t gone shopping for 10 years, hello).

but the day he went out with me, he bought these pricey shirts that i said were nice. and as he paid for the stuff, he said “I can wear this the next time we go out.”

eh? next time? all i could muster was a smile.

intense moment no. 2

once, on my msn, I put a line of this song as my display nick. I always do that for songs that get stuck in my head for the day.

so the liner of the day was – I can’t be your friend unless I pretend from the song Sewn, by The Feeling.

this mamat saw my nick, and somehow, thought that I directed it at him! Why you so terasa (feeling) ah? he was actually questioning if the nick was meant for him. what the heck? even if it WAS directed at someone, you think you’re the only one on my list is it? tsk tsk.

intense moment no. 3

after that date, we did maintain contact but didn’t get around to meeting up again. BUT the person who did get to meet him was my insurance agent. lol. ok when I signed up with this agent, she was asking me for a list of friends who I think could use her services. ie she’s asking for referrals la. so one of the names I put down was mr d.

most of my friends didn’t even bother to meet this agent but apparently, he did. the next time I met my agent, she was telling me she had an appointment with one of my friends, mr d.

I was curious to know what happened, so I asked, how was it? she took a while to answer me, like trying very hard to compose her answer. in the end, what she said was, “he was very… intense.”

at that, I just burst out laughing. I mean, this was a girl who didn’t even know the guy and she felt the same way about him just after one meeting! hey, at least he was consistent eh? :P

the story was, my agent was telling him how important it was to save and have a proper savings and investment plan for the future, you know, the usual insurance spiel. and she said mr d had VERY strong feelings against this idea and didn’t agree with what she said. instead of just saying no to the agent, which is what most people would do, I guess he turned it into a debate with the insurance agent. heh.

so yes, intense indeed.

but if you don’t believe in insurance, why bother to meet up at all right? hmmm…

the embarassed one

This happened way back in 2003. this guy worked at the same place I was formerly in, only in a different section. It all started when he suddenly dropped me an email through the work’s email system one day. He had also left me his handphone number. At the end of the day, i smsed him those cliché smses i.e. have a good weekend ahead and he went on to reply, informing me that he was going to JB with parents over the weekend…

and so it started. as we working at the same place, he would email me in the mornings saying that he left me some stuff in the pantry i.e. food. He  said  it  was  too risky if he was seen passing me stuff personally i.e. people would talk. I was ok with that. As days passed by, he started to ask me out during  weekends for lunch. Although he was very much older than me i.e. 9 years difference, we could get along rather well. I must say he was  fun  to  be  with as he was quite chatty. but one day, not too long after, I found out something about his character…

It  was  one  of  those  weekend  lunch outings and we were at a certain shopping mall. We were walking when suddenly….

  He: “Alamak!”
  Me: “Why?” *baffled*
  He: “Look, its “M”!! And she’s approaching us. How?”
  Me: “How, what??”

And “M” then approached us and salam-ed me and said ‘Hi’ to him. Fyi, we   were  all  working  in the same department. “M” chatted with us for less than a minute and then she left.

After "M" left, this guy looked so pale. I had asked him why?

  He:  Please,  if she asks tell her that there’s nothing going on between us.
  Me: Of course lah, we were just going out what…nothing going on anyway.
  He: Yes, please say so.
  Me: Hmm…why? Oh...you were going out with her, eh? (I teased)
  He: Errr…no lah. No…

And  from that incident, I started to distance myself from him. Actually I  felt  rather  pissed.  It’s  like...why must he react that way? My thoughts were, “Why? Is it an embarrassment to be seen with me? Hmmph!!” or, “maybe he is seeing other girls as well??”

It  was  really  helpful  that  by  the  end of 2003, he went to another  division  for  a transfer, so we didn’t see much of each other, save for during some of the department’s functions etc.

In  2005,  he  tried  to come back to my life, after we bumped into each other at a colleague’s wedding. He asked me out again, but I lied. Yes, I lied...and said that I was already seeing someone else.

My heart had since been plastered shut for him…

the strange one

it all began when a friend of mine asked me whether I would be interested to get to know her husband's still-a-bachelor good friend. She described to me his looks, his hobbies and also his love for travelling.

not bad, I thought...so I gave her the green light to pass him my number. and so we began sms-ing and yes, exchanging msn addresses. 

then one day, over sms, he asked me out. it was too soon, i thought, but being very curious i decided to say yes. the plan was to meet at a certain coffee joint somewhere near city hall....but alas, when he arrived there first he called me to say that the coffee joint was non-existent. 

and so we went to another place, also a coffee joint. he seemed to be a very shy guy, and there wasn't much that we could talk about. i was really hoping that after finishing our drinks, we would call it a day. but....he then suggested, "Let's go to the ACM (museum)."

actually i had been talking to him about this certain exhibition going on at the ACM during our chats on msn. i didn't expect that he would want to visit the museum since he had said that he was not into museums. 

and then it started...in the museum, we literally went our separate ways. It's like we were too engrossed in wanting to view what we wanted to view and gave ourselves such a big space to roam by ourselves in the museum...haha

it was soon almost evening, and suddenly he appeared and said he had to fetch a friend from the airport. we parted ways, after doing our evening prayers at a nearby masjid...

and since then we didn't contact each other...until a few weeks later, he suddenly gave me a missed call. I wasn't in singapore, but i called him back anyway. he answered strangely, "ehmmm...sorry i called you while you are overseas, it's ok i will call you back next time"...and he hung up.

but he never did...and i didn't as well. Then, not very long after I returned, he suddenly smsed me one day, "heyy...between green and blue, which do you think is a nicer colour?" I replied and at the same time, asked about how he was. But he never replied. And from there, he disappeared....*poooooof*

My friend who was the one who intro-ed me to him, was also baffled. She helped, by saying, "It's ok, he's too square for you I think and now i also know that he's weird."

just for the record, he's 4 years older than me and is of a different race. i think he must be searching for someone of his race.....

the one who taunted me

contributed by one of our readers, random heart.


I got to know “Z” through one of those networking site where you subscribe at a nominal price to contact others (anakmelayu.com). The site allows you to write what you’re looking for under your profile so my line was: Looking for the perfect man, but since there is no such thing as a perfect man, I’m just looking for my lost things lah…

So Z sent me an IM (in this case it’s called sticky notes) that said: I might not be the perfect man but I’d want to be your friend.

A browse through his profiles sent warning bells in my head. So “jiwang ah mamat ni” - he was so into Malay literature and looked like he breathed and lived in it. Nevertheless, I ignored the warning signals and even exchanged msn addresses. I thought it’s perfectly harmless to get to know a new person. So we chatted on msn for a bit.

Though I have a slim face, I’m not really one. But when he viewed my profile photo, Z kept saying that I was beautiful la...blah blah blah. Even to the point of quoting the song that was hot during that time, James Blunt’s “You’re so beautiful”. He kept asking me out but I always declined. I wasn’t playing hard to get but I’m seriously not the kind who meet guys randomly like that. However, I then discovered that my best friend’s colleague is actually Z’s sister (Z wasn’t aware of that). That and a push by my friend finally got me to agree to meet him.

Z picked me up in this small loud orange car that was screaming for attention. We hadn’t planned what to do that day. So in actual fact, if he was disappointed by what he saw… he could have cut the date short. But no… we went for coffee, dinner and then even watched a movie! All the time he was attentive, nice and we shared a good conversation. He did not display any signs of dread at all.

Anyway, after the meet up, (which Z initially termed a date) I sent him a polite sms to thank for the day out but there was no response.

2 days later on his profile, he posted a poem for “Si Dia” (That special one). I was like “HUH? Did I go out with someone’s guy?” So I messaged Z online through the site. Guess what? No response at all.

I was annoyed and needed closure, so I sent him an email. I knew exactly when he opened it but being the coward that he was, he never responded. So I thought that was it.

But 4 months later…I received a message from Z on msn. I had deleted his nick but had stupidly forgotten to block him. He sent a heart icon. “Strange,” I thought but since I was away from my computer at that time, I let it go.

The next time, I received another message from him - the heart wink. Curious, I sent him a msg. The following is an excerpt of what was exchanged:

Me: It’s weird that you keep on getting the wrong window.
Z: Yes, life is weird.
Me: Don’t get philosophical with me.
Z: You are still angry with me, you are entitled to.
Me: …
Z: can’t we restart?
Me: Restart what? (restart what? Nothing ever started in the first place.)
Z: Our Friendship
Me: Excuse me Mr Z, please define for me what it means by friendship, if it means keeping silent like that, that’s bull lah!
Z: I had my reasons then.
Me: care to tell me what is the reason?
Z: I felt something for you. You were decent, I was not so.
Me: that’s great, I’m decent and I got snubbed. Thanks a lot.

To cut things short, it was as though he was imploring me to forgive him, but of course who would be that stupid right? So when it was obvious that I would not back down, His parting line was: Stay sweet, diabetic and huge!

So much for him having feelings for me. Bluergh. I was so angry that I closed the window without remembering to block him.

The next thing I know, on another day, he sent me a message again on msn that went: Eh I think your car seat right, you have to make it bigger so can fit you.

It was too much right? In the first place, I could even fit into his freaking small car. But at least this time, I remembered to block him.

Totally annoyed, I went back to that site and sent him 2 sticky notes to give him a piece of my mind. It went something like this: I fat ke, I huge ke, what business is it of yours? For the record, I let God deal with people like you. Just want to say thank you because I finally am able to block you on msn.

And just so you know, the only reason I even agreed to go out with you was because I found out that your sister is my best friend’s colleague. Have a nice life. GOODBYE.

And you know what the best thing is? I have not even shared how this person looks like. If you guys have watched “Pendekar Bujang Lapok” before, I’m sure you are familiar with Ahmad Nisfu - The actor with the unforgettable nose… Well this fella can pass off as his grandson. Seriously.

I figured he must be a serial dater, going out with ladies must be his hobby and at the same time keeping his options open. Well guys like these can seriously go fly kite.

the charmer

Having met a few guys in life, there was this particular one whom I'd never forget. He’s really a nice guy actually, but the signs were all  there for me to take note (which I didn’t) that he still hasn’t gotten over his ex. He told me it was a year since they broke up. The 1st time we met over coffee, he kept mentioning his ex. I was fine with that as my mind was open and that I told myself, I was just meeting him as a friend...but as time got by, he being the charmer, made me fall in love with him. And in less than 4 weeks later, he said he was going back to his girlfriend and giving her a chance. All this was over sms while I was in Borneo. My heart really shattered. Oh, for the record, he was the FIRST guy to give me flowers. White roses! Three of them. He said they represented me: Fine, Pure and Beautiful. Haa...CHARMER!

the one who made me pay

let’s talk about possibly one of the worst dates ever.

this happened like probably 4-5 years ago, after i just broke up with the ex. i got to know h.h. from friendster and we moved on to msn chats. that time he was in Taiwan for work, at a small IT firm where he and another partner set up. it was really nice chatting with him and we often talked about how he should come back to SG soon so we can have a good dinner (we were both foodies).

so finally he did come back for a few weeks for business. and we arranged to meet. he was staying at a rented room somewhere in the north so we met at a neighbourhood mall in the area. before we met, he was telling me that he’s short of cash. apparently, even though it’s a company trip, the firm didn’t really give him allowance or that it’s really really minimal. i was very sympathetic and all, but figured that he can get by.

anyway, we went to KFC to have dinner and we stood in line to queue for the food. our turn came, we ordered together. and while the cashier was getting the food ready for us, what would you do? get the money ready to pay right? but as we stood there, and almost all of our food was served on the tray, this guy didn’t even take out his wallet! so of course, SOMEONE had to pay and i did. but still, he didn’t offer to pay for anything! i mean, i wasn’t thinking that he should pay for me. i thought that at least, we’re going dutch.

that was a bit disconcerting for me, but ok la we just sat and had dinner and chatted as normal. i’m nice like that, what can i say?

but that’s not the worst part… no, no.

before we parted, he asked for a favour from me. he asked to borrow money la! during dinner, he was telling me again how he’s barely surviving here, and that he has to eat canned food in his room most days. i mean, poor thing also la. and he just wanted to borrow like $30 or $50. again, me being the nice (albeit naïve one) did. thing about me is that i can’t say no to people, especially one who is standing face to face with me. i figured it’s not a big amount anyway so what’s the harm.

he did return the money BUT he borrowed some more once or twice after that. small amounts again but at one point when he asked again, I just didn’t reply to his sms or answer his calls and just blocked him on msn. a friend told me that he can’t possibly survive on just those meagre amounts that i lent him. we concluded that he probably borrowed a bit from a few people to get by. but who knows? the weird thing is, shouldn’t you borrow money from people you know, like friends or school mates? Not someone you just met? when i went AWOL on him, he sent me emails and msges on friendster, all went unreplied. i figured i didn’t owe him any explanation but he seemed genuinely concerned that I just went *poof* on him. lol. oh well, since I’m not very good at saying no, i do the next best thing. run away. :)

so there you have it folks. what kind of dodo would lend money to a guy on a first date right? yours truly.

p/s: he has a habit of calling me ‘Dear’ which I dearly hate! urgh.

the one who met the family

So it’s kinda obvious from my previous posts that I’m single right? It’s not like I want to… just that I’ve had more than my fair share of meeting weird guys and going on cringe-worthy dates. I told some friends about these ‘memorable’ dates. Some shook their heads in disbelief, others laughed at my ability to attract the strangest characters. One even BLOGGED about my dating mishaps, while making no effort to disguise my real identity.

So I thought, why not document these dating chronicles myself? Besides, I think there’s quite a number which I didn’t mention to my circle yet, so this would be a good outlet. A few pals have even told me to write a book about them. It’ll be hilarious, one said. Well, I’m not quite ready to go public with this yet so I’ll just write about them here, in our private little space :)

Here goes the first dating chronicle of barren heart…

I was supposed to meet a.d. for a movie after work. Unfortunately, my grandma was admitted to the hospital that afternoon. Tickets were already bought so I just decided to go meet him at the intended place and tell him in person that I had to cancel and offered to pay for both tickets. So we met, told him the story and he was cool about it.

But he insisted that he sends me to the hospital, saying he’s already out of his house anyway, has nowhere to go and that he got the car for the night. I felt bad of course, since I cancelled our plans on his off day, so I agreed. Once we got to the hospital carpark, I suddenly felt bad (again) that he sent me all the way to the west (he lives in the east). So I just opened my big mouth and asked “you wanna come up for a while?”

I mean, I asked out of politeness. I didn’t think anyone would say yes. It’s the 2nd time I’m meeting the guy, for goodness’ sake! But he said yes! Without the slightest hesitation!

“Oh shucks, what now?” I thought. I already envisioned the questions and staring I will get later. And I know it’s not just my parents. My aunts and uncles were at the ward too. *groan*

True enough, things couldn’t get more awkward in that little room. We walked in, I salam-ed everyone and introduced him to my parents. My parents gave him a once-over and I can TELL that they gave him a quick assessment.

Now, I should tell you a bit about a.d. I’m not particularly keen on going out with him. I mean, he’s friendly and all, decent looking, albeit about a few centimetres shorter than I am. But there was the perennial problem of not having much to talk to him about on our dates. The difference with this guy was that he does enough talking for the both of us. Lol! Yeap, he can go on and on… sometimes he slides in a few questions for me but then it’s back to talking about his principles, his experiences, his life… etc etc. It gets tiring at times but I figured, he’s not too bad for company on days I needed to get out.

So after the intro, everyone was telling me what happened to my grandma, were joking around with each other… while my dear friend was just standing there, not knowing what to say. I mean, what can he do right? It’s not like we’re on familiar terms, or we’re seriously dating that I have to get him to be chummy with my extended family. Heck, even I had a tough time trying to fill up the empty silent spaces between us! Ok so my dad did ask him some standard qns… where you working, where you live, etc but that’s it. There’s only so much my dad can ask a perfect stranger that his daughter brought out of the blue, right? It was just sooo weird.

Reprieve came after 30 minutes of agonizing, awkward standing around. He said he had to go off coz he has an early morning shift. Trying VERY hard not to look too eager, I sent him off at the lift.

Luckily for me, not too many questions from the parents after that. Although I kinda hoped that they think it’s someone I’m dating, since they’ve been bugging me to get hitched anyway. No such luck. I guess they figured that he’s not my kind. Or maybe they noticed how uncomfortable we were. Heh.

ol (boys) skool

as i was running through the guys i dated in my head (yes, i’m that bored on some days), i realised i’ve been going out with quite a number of guys from boy’s schools.

so far:
1 ri
1 vs
2 st pat’s
1 bartley

2 of the above, i was attached to. coincidence? I think not.

plus, these were all guys whom i enjoyed going out with (save for one, who was waaayy too ‘atas’ for me. more on that later). a bit of cheekiness in them, not too decent nonsense, a little bit of mat in them but far from being a typical mat. more like... smart mamat. and with all of the above, i can hold a decent conversation. read: no awkward silences.

what is it that they teach in these schools anyway? is it in the water cooler? the same-sex bonding from a young age? i think it’s the same for girls from convent schools. like, you can always tell them apart from other girls. A bit louder, more confident, kinda bitchy. heh. and when they tell you, “oh i’m from ‘so and so girls’ school”, you’ll go “yeah, I guessed as much”.

no? or is it just me? lol.

anyway, back to the boys. i guess from the above, i roughly know what kinda guy fits for me. not necessarily from a boys’ school but someone who’s a little bit of everything.

guess i'll have to wait along for the next old boy to come along :)